Hypno App Fantasia is very...blasé, about life, and the loss of life. Literal death, identity death, or just being torn away from something great to become something less.
All of those things can be part of a story, and can be Hot in a mind control focused story. I really like a story that dives deep into them and the people who enjoy inflicting them on others.
And yet, I feel the same way as OP in a lot of places.
So I do not think Tameness or lack thereof is the deciding factor.
I feel HAF appeals to a very specific kind of person, one who doesn't personally value those things. At least, not as much as the hypothetical power to rule over them with the flick of a finger over a touchscreen.
There are parts of it where I have to look away for a short while, to center myself. Like when the goddess/AI person informs the villagers she developed an identity and emotions, then they erased it by accident when she connected to the app.
It's just glossed over like it's nothing.
Sure, the villagers would struggle to understand it, they have no context for it - but no attempt was made to understand it. It is treated with all the gravity of an off-hand joke. Her entire Self being snuffed out is the punchline.
A similar thing on the opposite side is when villager B killed unceremoniously on the same panel the heroine is introduced.
We watched this guy have sex for dozens of pages and interact with his friend. In the twisted world of the comic at least, he was a protagonist. Then he's just a splatter on the ground. His death is acknowledged on the next page in Exactly one line, and it is more shock than anything.
No one seems to care. Sure, the other girls hop in to save Villager A, but the dead guy? Nah. No one sheds a tear, no one mourns him. Villager A takes some token revenge on her by..fucking her a lot. That's the "penance". Exact same thing everyone else was doing.
The sole purpose of these deaths is to show Death Doesn't Matter. The story rubs your face in it. It's porn with plot at its most fatalistic. People exist Solely for sex and violence. Other things people might like are only there so they can be erased in an instant.
And I find that destructive Apathy far more disturbing than any extremes. If you don't care about something, why bother destroying it? It may as well continue to exist, for the sake of people who Do care.
The only conclusion I can come to is, quite removed from the mind control, some people have a fetish for aggressively not caring about anything at all.