so i just had a thought and i wanted to see what are your suggestions and opinions on the topic

what if there was some sort of dnd like game but erotic where instead of choosing traits like "poor eyesight gain 3 points" it's like "your character has a micropenis gain 3 attribute points"

There are lewd CYOAs that let you customize this way. And I know there are also erotic tabletop games, but they're typically not super well designed, because the designers spent too much time jacking off instead of fine-tuning.

I would suggest adapting an existing system you know and just including sexual RPs and themes. Vampire: The Masquerade already includes a lot of sexual elements, and even includes two different kinds of hypnosis with their own comprehensive skill trees. It's incredibly erotic.

I'd also suggest Pathfinder for this just because it's a very well designed system and there are sex builds (for instance, the hypnotic "lotus geisha" bard variant with all the lewd spells and harlot sweets to buff your charisma even further in a pinch. Hilariously, the best way to maximize your save DCs here is by playing an old gnome with the Charming trait, so you have to contrive a way to make an old gnome sexually attractive to get the maximum bonus. If you're able to do this and cast Aura of the Unremarkable with a persistent metamagic rod, you and your team can go around sexually using anyone you want in public, and no one will even be able to notice!) I once used Triggered Suggestion for purely strategic purposes in a non-lewd group to solve a problem.

Also, Mutants and Masterminds (3e is the one I use) is the perfect system for fetish games, there's just so much customization. I once designed a beautiful bimbo bunny with super strength, flight, and hypnotic breasts just because I was bored. You could make, for instance, a hypno-memetic conversion-based Rogue the Bat who brainwashes people with kisses and turns them into more copies of her, complete with the brainwash-twinning power. You could even, as an aside on a serious character, give him a hypnotic dick that usually doesn't matter because it has to be pressed up against you to have any effect. Then, when he's getting grappled and is about to lose, the opponent has to roll to resist submitting to his bulge!

I play lots of tabletop games, but my group doesn't ERP. I specifically avoid mind control stuff because it'd be uncomfortable, but I've theorycrafted lots of it. I'll probably run a lewd hypno Mutants and Masterminds game one day.

I think it’s possible to make even DND erotic with enough homebrew, my friends have joked about running a one-shot and using Monster Girl Encyclopedia art and lore. People have homebrewed sex mechanics (though it does include noncon because… people). I think the biggest obstacle, like memes hinted at, is having a group willing to play along for the erotic sections. Sadly I don’t have that, I’m at a point with DND I take the spell “dominate person” more for its utility than its eroticism lol