Search

(Supports wildcard *)
Statistics
Options
History
Related Posts
blue_hair breasts demon_girl femsub glowing glowing_eyes happy_trance idpet mask monster_girl red_eyes short_hair succubus text transformation

Edit | Respond

4 comments (0 hidden)

IDPet
>> #402638
Posted on 2021-01-16 03:01:39
Score: 0 (vote Up)
YCH commission, Lesser Succubus TF.
Naesala
>> #402731
Posted on 2021-01-16 22:43:06
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Not bad, but the redundancy in the first sentence is fairly unpleasing. You could either drop the part before the first comma, as the explanation of powers makes it clear why she might want it, or not use "less shy" when describing the powers. Something like "ambitious" or "extroverted" gives the same desired dynamic while also setting up the masks more excessive outcome. Some turns of phrase and sentence structures could also be brushed up on. Hope it helps for next time <3 The art is quite lovely.
IDPet
>> #402738
Posted on 2021-01-16 23:12:22
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Thanks, honestly i was looking for a way to avoid the redundancy, but I didn't find a word in english xD.
Lewd-queen
>> #403321
Posted on 2021-01-22 01:28:20
Score: 0 (vote Up)
This is kinda like pauleen from fossil fighters champions.
1