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  • Id: 112685
  • Posted: 2021-03-12 21:02:43
    by ManipMan
  • Size: 1920x1080
  • Source: Kairunoburogu
  • Rating: Explicit
  • Score: 105 (vote up)
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ann_takamaki bare_legs barefoot blonde_hair blue_eyes caption feet female_only femdom foot_licking foot_worship hypnotic_feet legs licking male_pov malesub manip manipman_(manipper) orgasm_command panties persona_(series) persona_5 pov pov_sub smile text twintails underwear

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7 comments (0 hidden)

ManipMan
>> #410207
Posted on 2021-03-12 21:03:56
Score: 0 (vote Up)
My first manip! Please leave some criticism in the comments so that I can be the best I can be!
BugmenotEncore
>> #410209
Posted on 2021-03-12 21:40:59
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Hm. For a first try, this is entirely fine!

One thing I would mention is how the mind control is implied only very mildly to be there. We Expect it, of course, this being a mind control focused site. Anywhere else, all we would see is a jarring transition from a disinterested party suddenly drooling over someone's feet, and if you try to immerse yourself in the story, the same happens.

If there was some dialogue or internal monologue from Ann, even just a few words that confirmed or more directly hinted at what she did to Joker's mind prior to/during this, it would flow a lot better, allow us to put ourselves into either party's place more.

The exact amount of that confirmation should be to your taste, but some would be a definite plus.
ManipMan
>> #410223
Posted on 2021-03-12 22:40:17
Score: 0 (vote Up)
BugmenotEncore said:
Hm. For a first try, this is entirely fine!

One thing I would mention is how the mind control is implied only very mildly to be there. We Expect it, of course, this being a mind control focused site. Anywhere else, all we would see is a jarring transition from a disinterested party suddenly drooling over someone's feet, and if you try to immerse yourself in the story, the same happens.

If there was some dialogue or internal monologue from Ann, even just a few words that confirmed or more directly hinted at what she did to Joker's mind prior to/during this, it would flow a lot better, allow us to put ourselves into either party's place more.

The exact amount of that confirmation should be to your taste, but some would be a definite plus.


Thanks! I'll make sure to take this into consideration.
RedCollarBlackCollar
>> #410241
Posted on 2021-03-13 00:01:45
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Source is for external links only. Please tag the artist instead.
ManipMan
>> #410322
Posted on 2021-03-13 07:01:31
Score: 0 (vote Up)
RedCollarBlackCollar said:
Source is for external links only. Please tag the artist instead.


my bad.
Jeffb
>> #410350
Posted on 2021-03-13 10:56:26
Score: 0 (vote Up)
The grey text is really hard to make out without zooming.
JJMayoBoy
>> #410393
Posted on 2021-03-13 20:41:26
Score: 0 (vote Up)
ManipMan said:
My first manip! Please leave some criticism in the comments so that I can be the best I can be!

Hey buddy. I like the choice for the red boxes however the word colors don’t go together quite smoothly. Not a big deal but choosing more appropriate accents would make the picture more appealing as a whole. Other than that the only other thing is the “It’s so nice to be home” line. It feels kinda weird in this context, we already knew where they were going so you didn’t need to spell it out that time.

Either way you did pretty good for your first time and can’t wait to see what else you make in the future.

Edit: There you go now you have your own tag.
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