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3 comments (0 hidden)

TakyonH
>> #11093
Posted on 2014-02-24 04:53:51
Score: 0 (vote Up)
STORY THAT INSPIRED PIC: incredibleintruder.devian...e-snake-charmer-323186135

REVIEW OF STORY:
Is good mayne read that
Ogodei-Khan
>> #11094
Posted on 2014-02-24 05:33:22
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Incredible Intruder's story ideas are okay (in some cases, very good. Don't want to sound like i'm damning with faint praise), but by god i cannot get over that grammar.
TakyonH
>> #11100
Posted on 2014-02-24 06:23:25
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Ogodei-Khan said:
Incredible Intruder's story ideas are okay (in some cases, very good. Don't want to sound like i'm damning with faint praise), but by god i cannot get over that grammar.

It's an odd pacing that I would not write in but the grammar itself looks sound.
Aside from some commas that don't need to be where they are and some questionable periods I don't mind it.
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