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  • Id: 17343
  • Posted: 2014-06-07 20:29:00
    by MindWarp
  • Size: 1920x1200
  • Rating: Questionable
  • Score: 38 (vote up)
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3 comments (0 hidden)

MindWarp
>> #20236
Posted on 2014-06-07 20:30:08
Score: 0 (vote Up)
First upload, any criticism welcome just please offer solutions instead of only complaining
NamesAreForTheWeak
>> #20239
Posted on 2014-06-07 21:01:20
Score: 0 (vote Up)
You should divide the text into paragraphs. Makes it much more legible.
Other than that, pretty good. I enjoyed it.
Ogodei-Khan
>> #20241
Posted on 2014-06-07 23:51:04
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Paragraphs.

Also, i think this would have been better served with a femdom angle. You wouldn't even have to change much of the actual text to get there.
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