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10 comments (0 hidden)

dark_phoenix
>> #95636
Posted on 2016-03-27 10:28:33
Score: 0 (vote Up)
A few things, mainly that on the 4th paragraph, I think the text went over the edge because it is missing something, most likely "only I can [break it]". The dark blue background with the darker blue text is kinda...annoying to read. Not horrible, like yellow on white or something, but annoying.

On a better note, the pic is great =D
Rize
>> #95638
Posted on 2016-03-27 10:37:13
Score: 0 (vote Up)
It really didn't went over the edge, I just don't use dots unless I use ellipsis
And yeah, it used to be purple text, but the output picture from photoshop has darker colors for some reason, I'm not sure how to fix that
plsignore
>> #95639
Posted on 2016-03-27 10:41:56
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Rize said:
It really didn't went over the edge, I just don't use dots unless I use ellipsis


You should really consider doing do. It's super jarring to read something without periods.
dark_phoenix
>> #95641
Posted on 2016-03-27 11:47:17
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Ohh, the grammar just felt weird. I thought there was a missing word, but when I reread it I can see it really isn't needed. Just worded a bit weird. Sorry! >.>
Slixer
>> #95647
Posted on 2016-03-27 14:14:29
Score: 0 (vote Up)
The word Mistress, not Master. I've noticed this a few times and I'm guessing it's down to those doing them being non-native English speakers but when a Woman is in charge it's Mistress not Master.
MasakakiKairi
>> #95652
Posted on 2016-03-27 15:30:52
Score: 0 (vote Up)
This is deliciously sexy
plsignore
>> #95666
Posted on 2016-03-27 18:45:54
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Slixer said:
The word Mistress, not Master. I've noticed this a few times and I'm guessing it's down to those doing them being non-native English speakers but when a Woman is in charge it's Mistress not Master.


Eh, kinda. Really, with a woman you could use either term (although you wouldn't call a man 'mistress'). The two words have mostly the same meaning, but 'master' carries a different connotation than 'mistress' which might be preferable in some cases.
Sanguity
>> #95697
Posted on 2016-03-28 00:21:06
Score: 0 (vote Up)
The way this was written makes it sound as if she was sitting on their face the whole time and they only just noticed it four paragraphs in.
DrgnmastrAlex
>> #95698
Posted on 2016-03-28 00:26:39
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Slixer said:
The word Mistress, not Master. I've noticed this a few times and I'm guessing it's down to those doing them being non-native English speakers but when a Woman is in charge it's Mistress not Master.


Been a while. :P
Wakaba
>> #97061
Posted on 2016-04-02 09:50:34
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Sanguity said:
their


Purple Heart is a girl.
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