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>> #152240
Score: 0 (vote Up)
>> #152254
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It's alright that you make something you don't think is worth publishing. Rewriting is a natural process of writing and this site is very open to any works of any kind, so there's little pressure beyond your self-made crucibles. Make no mistake with the design you used the words are key to conveying and recontextualizing the picture. It's not easy to craft a world with words- that's why a picture to set the scene is so popular.
>> #152261
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I think the problem with this piece is that it's fairly bland and forced. Don't get me wrong it isn't terrible, I'm only saying it isn't very good. The transition from *fine* to *falling into a trance* is extremely sharp. The general dialogue is certainly adequate, it's all in the eye of the beholder and personal preference is king, but your lack of enthusiasm shows.
It's alright that you make something you don't think is worth publishing. Rewriting is a natural process of writing and this site is very open to any works of any kind, so there's little pressure beyond your self-made crucibles. Make no mistake with the design you used the words are key to conveying and recontextualizing the picture. It's not easy to craft a world with words- that's why a picture to set the scene is so popular.
you're right about the lack of enthusiasm, it was late and I thought I'd use this pic, also I wasn't "in the mood" until the second pic, the one with the woman in the red dress.
>> #152263
Score: 0 (vote Up)
I think the problem with this piece is that it's fairly bland and forced. Don't get me wrong it isn't terrible, I'm only saying it isn't very good. The transition from *fine* to *falling into a trance* is extremely sharp. The general dialogue is certainly adequate, it's all in the eye of the beholder and personal preference is king, but your lack of enthusiasm shows.
It's alright that you make something you don't think is worth publishing. Rewriting is a natural process of writing and this site is very open to any works of any kind, so there's little pressure beyond your self-made crucibles. Make no mistake with the design you used the words are key to conveying and recontextualizing the picture. It's not easy to craft a world with words- that's why a picture to set the scene is so popular.
I think you nailed the heart of it. To go into deeper detail with it, though, I'd say that there are a few more general points that could be reined upon. For instance, even in the most well-written caption, using asterisks (*) to denote actions is going to make things look lower quality. It's much better to use a different text colour and descriptive language, or even just not to explain the actions directly, but imply them through character dialogue. Punctuation is also important. Again, even if everything else is right, forgetting to end sentences with punctuation, not using commas, or using too many periods in an ellipsis (it's always three periods, by the by [as in "..."] - no more nor less) creates a negative impression that will colour the opinions of the reader.
>> #152264
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>> #152293
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>> #152391
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Also, what kind of idiot only has one pencil?
poor college students?
>> #293572
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>> #293628
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That 'pencil' looks suspiciously like a ballpoint pen... Something strange is afoot.
Maybe it is one of those fancy looking mechanical pencils.
>> #541603
Score: 0 (vote Up)