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(Supports wildcard *)Artist
- ? strype 8
- ? t323 (manipper) 205
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- ? blonde hair 33011
- ? furry 17850
- ? futadom 1868
- ? futanari 5370
- ? looking at viewer 12574
- ? multiple arms 278
- ? penis 26695
- ? pov 8592
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>> #158070
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Also, English is not my native language, so I will really appreciate some help in fixing mistakes.
I hope you'll like it.
До новых встреч!
>> #158074
Score: 0 (vote Up)
>> #158079
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Just for future, T323, it's "futadom".
>> #158081
Score: 0 (vote Up)
The grammar on this is...painful.
Well, sorry. I tried my best. Can you tell me which parts are the worst?
wh
"femdom futanari"
Just for future, T323, it's "futadom".
Thank you.
>> #158092
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Well, sorry. I tried my best. Can you tell me which parts are the worst?
whThank you.
I feel like I've already been rude enough, and I am an extremely harsh critic. I'll try, though.
For a start, though this is more stylistic than grammar, bracketing actions with asterisks looks unprofessional and creates a negative impression, compared to using more subtle clues, like italicised text. On a related note, naming the offscreen character in a POV piece can be distracting.
On a more grammatical side, there's a definite overuse of ellipses (...) here. Generally speaking they should be used sparingly, mostly only to indicate an incomplete thought or something that continues past what is shown. Next, though this can arguably be grammar or style (depending on how you look at it), your wording is a bit stiff. In formal writing, it's good to use contractions sparingly, but in casual settings, most people compress. That's why contractions exist in the first place - they're essentially verbal and mental shortcuts. Other than that, it's more quantity than severity, though typing "waytress" for waitress was particularly egregious. I can't tell if "woodoo" in place of "voodoo" was intentional or not. There's some other cases of incorrect word choice, like "you're" (you are) in place of "your" (belonging to you), and improper conjugation/verbage ("is" where it should be "are", "I come" where it should say either "I came" or "I've come", etc...) as well. Like I said, it's just the general proliferation of small errors rather than any really major ones on their own.
>> #158095
Score: 0 (vote Up)
I feel like I've already been rude enough, and I am an extremely harsh critic. I'll try, though.
Thanks a lot! And do not worry, I'm used to being criticized. I will remember your words.
>> #158151
Score: 0 (vote Up)
>> #158391
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>> #211422
Score: 0 (vote Up)