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10 comments (0 hidden)

hwd171
>> #15104
Posted on 2014-04-13 18:24:21
Score: 0 (vote Up)
1st Manip back. I hope you guys like it.
Bokasa
>> #15108
Posted on 2014-04-13 20:13:37
Score: 0 (vote Up)
hwd171 said:
1st Manip back. I hope you guys like it.


+
greasyi
>> #15111
Posted on 2014-04-13 20:58:02
Score: 0 (vote Up)
The idea is good but the text feels a little rushed. In particular, pacing is an issue because the paragraph breaks are 100% based on wrapping text tightly around the image, when normally paragraph breaks are used to indicate pauses or shifts in topic. The breaks here don't seem to match up with any reasonable pacing the monologue could actually have, which makes the whole thing tough to read.

I find that my text quality skyrockets if I go away for a while after writing something and come back to read it over again; and repeat the process until I can come back and decide nothing needs to be changed. Once you can put yourself a little more in the shoes of a new reader, things about pacing and context that seemed obvious in your head will start to jump out as being not quite as clear as you thought.
hwd171
>> #15116
Posted on 2014-04-13 23:16:11
Score: 0 (vote Up)
greasyi said:
The idea is good but the text feels a little rushed. In particular, pacing is an issue because the paragraph breaks are 100% based on wrapping text tightly around the image, when normally paragraph breaks are used to indicate pauses or shifts in topic. The breaks here don't seem to match up with any reasonable pacing the monologue could actually have, which makes the whole thing tough to read.

I find that my text quality skyrockets if I go away for a while after writing something and come back to read it over again; and repeat the process until I can come back and decide nothing needs to be changed. Once you can put yourself a little more in the shoes of a new reader, things about pacing and context that seemed obvious in your head will start to jump out as being not quite as clear as you thought.


I see what you're talking about. I couldn't pace the text perfectly since I wanted to make the text readable. If I had fleshed out my Idea all of the way, the text would be really small.I'll try to make my next manip a little more detailed. I just hope I can find a bigger picture.
greasyi
>> #15119
Posted on 2014-04-14 00:28:07
Score: 0 (vote Up)
You can always widen the margins on an image if you need more space!
Krystalmyth
>> #26253
Posted on 2014-08-22 10:01:17
Score: 0 (vote Up)
*Totally reading this, loving the perspective... shocked that it isn't assuming I'm a dude for once. Omg, I'm so into this... um, well I'm a futa now... again~... still hot....but, sigh~*
hwd171
>> #26259
Posted on 2014-08-22 10:31:18
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Krystalmyth said:
*Totally reading this, loving the perspective... shocked that it isn't assuming I'm a dude for once. Omg, I'm so into this... um, well I'm a futa now... again~... still hot....but, sigh~*


Would you like me to make a special manip for you?
Krystalmyth
>> #26263
Posted on 2014-08-22 11:01:14
Score: 0 (vote Up)
hwd171 said:
Would you like me to make a special manip for you?


Would you? :o I see so few directed to F/F~ would make my ladyfriend happy. ^^

hwd171
>> #26270
Posted on 2014-08-22 11:30:10
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Krystalmyth said:
Would you? :o I see so few directed to F/F~ would make my ladyfriend happy. ^^




Just message me with what you want!
Joradan55
>> #35995
Posted on 2014-11-19 03:38:50
Score: 0 (vote Up)
I have cummed. I am now mistress's slave. Command me mistress
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