Im sorry
If there's anywhere I should be apologizing, it should be to this community.
I wanted to get this off my chest. I wanted to apologize for the drama surrounding my name. Honestly... all of this could have been avoided if I had just worked. I've had several opportunities with some clients from almost day 1 of being penken... and in some way or another i messed up those relationships. what would have been sustainable sources of income and better relationships strengthened by consistent work releases from me, all soiled due to extremely poor work ethic choices. All i had to do was work and i fucked it up. I would allow drama from my family to affect me and drag me down to such depressing lows i couldn't work. I would allow bad client experience to affect how i treated further customers. I allowed my past trauma and mental health to dictate my angry and aggressive behavior in some situations and not others, which would explain why there are people who have not very great views of me and people who absolutely do.
I want to apologize for all of it. The backtalk, the shit talk, the shitty attitude and poor work ethic. My life has been in a much more stable position when I moved into this current apartment with some major exceptions. Now that I have had time to reflect. ALL of this needed to happen. I stopped taking commissions and while Im on my mental health break, I wish to also churn out content slowly to prevent myself from getting stale. The Naomi audition audio was the biggest burst of inspiration i ever had and I intend to ride that wave of art motivation and continue to improve my craft to make the absolute BEST to everyone. You all deserve it. To those who stuck around, thank you, to those who have decided to give me another chance, thank you too, to those who are not convinced or not impressed with me, I can only hope my future actions can prove my good intentions.
I wanted to get this off my chest. I wanted to apologize for the drama surrounding my name. Honestly... all of this could have been avoided if I had just worked. I've had several opportunities with some clients from almost day 1 of being penken... and in some way or another i messed up those relationships. what would have been sustainable sources of income and better relationships strengthened by consistent work releases from me, all soiled due to extremely poor work ethic choices. All i had to do was work and i fucked it up. I would allow drama from my family to affect me and drag me down to such depressing lows i couldn't work. I would allow bad client experience to affect how i treated further customers. I allowed my past trauma and mental health to dictate my angry and aggressive behavior in some situations and not others, which would explain why there are people who have not very great views of me and people who absolutely do.
I want to apologize for all of it. The backtalk, the shit talk, the shitty attitude and poor work ethic. My life has been in a much more stable position when I moved into this current apartment with some major exceptions. Now that I have had time to reflect. ALL of this needed to happen. I stopped taking commissions and while Im on my mental health break, I wish to also churn out content slowly to prevent myself from getting stale. The Naomi audition audio was the biggest burst of inspiration i ever had and I intend to ride that wave of art motivation and continue to improve my craft to make the absolute BEST to everyone. You all deserve it. To those who stuck around, thank you, to those who have decided to give me another chance, thank you too, to those who are not convinced or not impressed with me, I can only hope my future actions can prove my good intentions.
