Hey fellas!

I'm out to get some advice on writing erotic fiction - I've written my fair share of literature before (of varying quality, of course :P), and recently I've had an idea for some erotica I can't quite get unstuck. A couple of days ago I started hammering out the basics and the scenes I can picture the best, and so far I think it's kind of alright.

However, this is my first time writing anything remotely sexy. I'm not sure what goes, what works, what doesn't, what I need to flesh out and what I can skip over. Basically, I'd like some tips and tricks from those of you who have written erotica before pertaining to the aforementioned points, as well as anything you think is worth mentioning.

The story so far is written in Twine 2 (www.twinery.org), a wonderful piece of software for creating nonlinear (Choose Your Own Adventure) stories. It ends up being a lot like Corruption of Champions if you put some work into it. I personally adore MC stores in that format - being able to really put yourself into the action is a major turn on x)

If it affects anything, the major themes are MC (of course), transformation, and memetic control.

So, to summarize - CHYOOA story in the pipe, first time writing sexytimes, not first time writing literature. Want advice to make it at least somewhat wank-worthy and not limp-dicked suckery.

Well then to begin
If you want to have a look at hwd171 trials of lust pool, he had a similar concept as yours and made perfectly fap wothy material (by my standards)

use that knowledge to make something interesting

Also to be noted that I am currently working with him an his team on a similar project as yours (using twine too .w./ ) based on the aforementioned trials...

For the rest just read a lot of stuff and find a style that fits what you want to recreate then adapt it to your fetishes, that would be best...

Fifty shades of gray?

Just kidding!

Or am I...

Just go read porn for girls already dang it!

good luck to you!

My secret: "borrow" your choreography from porn vids or hentai doujins/ero comix. I was inspired to start writing hypno stories based on images artists were doing, and if i'm doing something more original but finding myself bogged down in the whole "insert pinky finger into slot Y" mess, I'll lift the choreography from applicable hentai doujins or pornos. This allows you to paint a picture without having to put too much mental energy into exactly how the tentacles are grabbing/violating the girl.

The rest is much the same as other writing: get inside your viewpoint character's head. For stranger erotic fantasies like this, it's impossible to write from experience (or vicariously through the experiences of others). I try to write what I would *like* to feel from whatever experience the character is going through. If i can at least somewhat get off to what i'm writing, i know others will be able to as well.

write so that everything logically flows left to right without making the reader go backwards or re-imagine things
hypnosis is hot because of the submissive's reactions, focus on them
stories about plain sex and romance sell better to old moms on amazon than people playing erotic games, sexy < kinky
"cute" characters are better than "deep" characters, don't make them mary sues though, you need negativity to contrast the cuteness
uhh
thinking in terms of filmography can be helpful for non-dialogue scenes but only if you've got a lot of practice translating it, i don't think it does much for me yet when i try
you can be vague with sex; nobody wants to read erotica written by Patrick Bateman; you don't need to convey the actions so much with your words as you need to convey the closeness and intimacy
don't try to take tips from manips here that is a top fuckin lol they are 99.99% garbo and the ones that aren't are simple enough that there's not much to learn from in them

go get 'em tiger

Thanks a ton for the advice, everyone! Feeling a bit more confident now x)

I've put together a single branch of the story so far, which can be viewed here: directorate.asuscomm.com/.../Castle%20Callenburg.html

It drops you right into a piece of action slated for the end of the game, and there aren't any paths that branch off of it yet. Mainly, I'd like some direct feedback and advice on the writing style of this excerpt :)