We are very pleased with the acceptionce of our ways and educating those of lesser will power. Soon you will all be spirted away in the night and you will be reeducated to be perfect programmers and conditioners of the Illuminati.

We are watching.



All shall bow down to us and accept their new life and identity as servents of the Illuminati.

I would love to but you might not be able to get to me easily. You see I was walking my Dog and it ran into THE DOG PARK.

And now I'm stuck in a desert filled with giant masked warriors and a ominous rumbling. There are some mountains off in the distance...If you believe in them. Which of course I don't, I mean really that as silly as believing in angels. And no matter what any of Old Lady Joise tall winged friends say I know the City Council would never lie to me.

Erika has an active imagination, so does Erika, and Erika. Feel like getting a slice at Big Rico's later?

Are you hiring? I don't want to have to intern at the radio station. I heard there have been...accidents.

Big Rico's is best. Though all the others burned down so it's not like there's any other choice.

too much erika for me.

Hell, it's about time.

I for one welcome our illuminated overlords. Though I suppose this sudden announcement does make the recent memory wipes a bit of a waste.

Who am I kidding? Memory wipes are their own reward. ^-^

Also, we seem to have a few folks from Night Vale here. At least there aren't any of those freaks from Desert Bluffs.

Jokes on you, I've encrypted my mind

*gestures towards parked white delivery van*

Please, step into my office.

Nevah!

Wait if the illuminati are some massive secret society where you aren't supposed to know Who's in it...then why have you chosen to make your username "illuminati."

I̛̝̞̣͉̖͖̳̙͚̣͆̎ͯ̅͐͌̒̊̑ͧ̎ͤ̈͆͢͝ä̛̰̦͎͇̣̟̲̪͉̦ͯ̌̔̽̐ͨͤ̄́̔͌ͪͫ́ͥ͒ͩ̈͢͡ͅ!̷͕̳̖̯̘̳̹͙̰̹̘̺̞̼̥̽ͩ̉ͧ͊̊ͥͨ͑̃̀̚̕ͅ ͐ͭ̊ͨͩͭ́͏̛͍͎͈̳̬͍̰͕͕̞̬͡ͅĨͧͥͣͤͤ̅ͮ́ͦͮ̊͐́ͯ͆̌̄͏̙̜̙̪̩̩̘͕̬̫̝̞̺͚̻̫́̕̕͟ä̶̧͇̥̦̙̰̲̹̻̱̱͓͆̓̒̆̓ͬ̚͡!̗̯͍̼̖͓̜͖̼͉ͯ̎͑͗̍͆͞ ̷ͥ͆ͧ̔͋̿̌ͯͯ̌̎ͤ̔̄͢҉҉̺̖̯̳͢Ç̭̟̹͎͈͖͍̪̙̺͍̟̯͊ͨͩ̒ͫͮ̈̌̈ͫ̚̚̕̕̕t̥̲̞̫͈̺̝̖̤̮̼̰͌͋̔̾ͯ̔͘͘͘͞h͈̬̜͈̪̳̠̙͇͖̮͉̗̹̙̳͔ͣ͗͛ͤ͐̋͘̕ͅu͇͚̠̻̖͗̅͒̽̌̉̐͘l̪̦̟̘̙̻̮̥̺͎͕ͤ͛̃̔̊͞h͛͋ͣ̃ͤ̊͐͋͑̂̿҉͎͇͍͈͖̱̟̠̲͍̫̘́ủ̫̼͕̪̟͎̲̤̄̿̋͗̆ͣ̇ͪͩ͒ͫ͒̅̅̚͝͞ ̡͙̤̫̯̟̥͓̣͕̲̄̓ͩ̑͆ͮͨ͜ͅf̳̤͍͖̥̝͇͆̋̓̾͊͒̒ͤ́̕͟͟͡hͤ̑ͥ̎̀ͯͬ̓̑̽ͪͪ͠҉͈̖̭̬̬̹͎͓̪̻̩̣ͅt̡͎̤̤̝̝͈͈̝̫̙͚̹̜̋̐̈́̔̈̂̐͗̔̐͝͞͞a̾̿͑͏̶͕̹̖̮̠̳̟̘̝̼̯̯͎̪̹̠g̵̩͔̝̖͇̲̯̱̦͕̠̜̞͔̱̖̫ͩ̑̅ͫ̄̎̅̃̐̎̽̕ñ̏͑͋ͪ̈́̈̚͘͠͏̻͔̝̤͎͎̱̱͉̖̻͎͘!̷̻͙͓̤̭͍̖̯̲̣̬̭̞̏̽̂̐̃ͭͨ͐̆̍ͬ̃̑ͬ̇̈́͘͟͜͝ͅͅ ̸̛̰̩̹͚͓̐͊ͬͬ́ͬ̐̃͆ͨ̒̀͛ͥ͋̃͊͊͘P͒̈̎ͨͬͭ́̈͛͏҉̷͎̲̬͕̫̫͢ͅh͗͐͌ͬ̏ͦ҉̬̰͙̥̜̻̕'̈́ͮͬͨ̿̀҉̸͜҉̨̞͈͙̞̰̝͙̠̲̬̹̣̳̦̮ͅn̨̞̬̖̭̦͖̳̟̳̞͈͔͌ͧ̀̎̍ͫ̉ͯ̽̓̿͆̋̀̕͞g̀̈́̎͑̍̄̍̀ͥ̅ͫ͆̔ͪͧ̾̆̚҉҉͞͏͖͉̟͈͇͔̩̪̹̹̰̦̪l̩͇̲̪̗͔̘͓͓̖̦͙̜̒͑̀̓͋ͨ̃̾ͮͫ͋̑̌̈́ͨ͜͠͡ͅű̷̙͕͕̟͔ͣͨ̀ͥ͋̈̇̑͂̆̅̾̆̐ͧ̀͛̀͟͜ȋͭ̃̿ͧ̈̊̊̇ͦ͋̀҉̷̞͉̣͕̟͎̝̬̼͍̖̻̱͉̳̱͕ ̻̞̘̠̦̠̫̖̞͍̼͎͚͎͎͇͊ͪͪ͋̽ͧ̀͊ͦ̍̔̃̒͜͡m̸̫͇̘͓̲̙̲̮̳͚͔̮͒́̔̊ͅg̡̧̜̭̲̖̞̗̅ͦ͂͒͛̐ͧͮ͊ͥͫ̂̏̾̎ͮ̄ͩl̸̛̳̠̦̖̞̰̻̮̤̣ͤ̄̐̐̍̒̃ͨͣ͐̄̈ͮ͐͂͡ẅ͔͓͉̞͍͇̙̝͚̺̟͙͖̓ͭ͗̒ͨͮͯ́̀͝ͅ'̢̹̼͍̠̮̩̜̬͔͔͉̈́̾ͮͤ̋͌́̚͡n̵̢͔͚̖̮̱̩̤͙̭͙̭͇̭͕ͪͩͦ͋̈́ͦ͞fͭ̋ͯ̿̂̏̈́͑̿̈́̊́̅ͮ̈̑̀͏͓̼̠͎̣̪̯̱̝̙̹̼̟̠̫̦̞͈͠a̡̛͗ͯ̊ͧ͌̂͒̉̓ͥ̀̔ͤ̌ͭͫ̿͋͏̥̜̳͇̣̩̼̲̺̥̖̻̠̞̼͇̬h̛̼͙̼̩̯̞̓ͯͫ̑ͧ̐̄͛͢͞ ̷̧̻̗̤̤̈́ͬͫ̉̄̔ͤ͐͋͑̍͌C̷̖͖̹͉̰̗̫͚̼̹͈̳̈̊͊̎ͫ͑ͭ͐͘͜t̷̢̛͇͚̫̖͓̜̩͍̺̒̿ͥ͆ͮͤ̋̔̇̽̀͂ͣ̓̑̚͝h͒ͩ̉́͆ͨ͐ͪ̿͜҉̯̙͕̯̙̺̞̱̠͔̠̠̦͉̦́̀͡ͅų̸͉̞̗̰̲͍̞̘̫̥͈͙̯̮̩͇̖̞̊ͪ̄ͫ̒͗ͭ̋͒̿ͬͧͤͮͨ͐̚͡͠l̡͉̣̳̤͚͙̬̬̝̣ͦͣͫ̊̎́͡h̷̢͉̖̱̖̩̜̏̇̎͂̀̌̆͌ͧ͗̚̕͟ṵ̷̵͉̳̣͉̻ͦ͋ͧͣ̈ͮ̄͘͜͡ ̩̰̫̖̝̘͙̲̮̮̅͌̓̑͐ͪͨ̅̀͠R̷̵̴̫̰̜̰͂ͧ̒ͨ̅ͣ͛̀̚͘'ͭ̂ͤ̾͂͢͞͏̩͉̳̯̯͈̗l̠̝̮̭̅͌͌̊̒̾̄͒ͣ̐͋͋ͪ̔̾ͯ͆̊̀̕ŷ̢̥̮̞̘̖̗̥̫͉̳ͩͦͪ͊̈̈͋͂̍̀̊ͮ̈̔̕͟͡ē̾̋ͧͯ̿́̈̈́ͫ̿̄̽͐̋ͯ̊̑̍҉̹̼̙̹̹̪͔̗̣̖͖̖̮́̕͝h̛̲̜̜̱͙̤̬̹̰̖͕̘̬̝͊̓̎̐̑̾ͧ̓ͩͨͨ̄ͮͅͅ ̪̭̰̣̪̙͎̤͇̩̪̭̌̂̓ͪ̂̅̽͐̀̌ͥ͠͠w̷̘̗͈͙̱̣̟ͪ̿̿̅̆ͮ̅͒͐ͤ̆͋͊͗́̀̚͝g̡̧͖̘͎̗̼̰͙̐̃̽̌͊ͩ͗͗̆̈̋̎ͫ̄́̚͘͢ã̡̰̖̖͈̯͔ͬ͂̈́̈́͋͛̒ͧ̈̆͌̐ͨ͛h̞͚͕̬͓̫̻̘͖̭̣̳̖̪̖̮̻͍ͭͬ̆̉͊̓͗̄͆̽ͨͩ̾̓ͪͬ̋͟͠'̓̉ͣ͋̓̂̾̐̏̓̄̎̃͜͏̬͉͙̭̺̟̜̱́͝ͅn͌̂̍̎̓ͨ̇̔̋ͧͪ̚͏͚͉̬̻́ą̡̝̻̹͇͔̹̬̪̼̖̠̭̟͇̭̼̈́͌̽̐̿ͧ̒ͫͪ͛̇̽ͮ̚̚͢ͅg̷̢̡̛͚̱͕̘͓̤̜̲̜̻̪̗̠̝͎͓̓̌̎ͧ̄̄̄̌̇ͥ͊̒l̡̛͈̬̟̰̗̙̈́ͩ̾͛́ͥͯͧ̔͗̽͛͢͠ ̷̢̜͚̲͈͕̪̣̣̣͓͍̭̥͔̬̝̹̣̋ͯ́͘͜f̳͉̝̤̯͎̠͎̪͍̹̦̃ͥͮͬ̾ͨ̎̅̿̆͒ͫ͌̃̓̄̈̑͟ĥ͖̘̞̬̦̼̤̩͔͔̹̞̞̥̰̝̏ͥͯͤͩͤ͐͆̓̈́͜͟͜ͅẗ̴͕͓͇̠̱ͯͦ̔̐ͦͭͨ̑̒͆̀͘͢ą̱͓̠̫̲̮̖̞̠̟͕̭̮̭̿̑̾̆ͪ̅ͨ̓ͭ̃̒̃̑̅̚͟͜͢͝g̺̯̝͇̻͓̫̜̺̲̰̩̒ͤ̆͐͂ͧ̄̍̏̽̚͢͢͠n̛̬̣͕̠̙̦̮̺̲͍̞̗̭̣̲̈͒̊̍ͣ̅̏͋͒͂̒͠͝!͚̮͕̲̼̩͉͚̘̯̤̖̬̹̼̆̏ͦ͛ͮ̍͛̾́͐͗ͫ̿ͬ̀



Welp, in for a penny.

H̜̱̯͔̱͓̪͇͔̗̮̱͑̆̆͌̉ͮͦ̔ͩ̌́͘͘͞͞a̵̷̢̳̤̪̘̞͎̗͈̜̠̻͓͉͇͛͊̈̊̒ͮ̂̑̋̿͂̏͌̉ͩ̈́̆͢ͅs̗̟̆ͭ̃̓̔͐́̀͘͞ͅţͤ́̊ͯͬ͛̽̿́̽̉͌̄̆ͮ̚͞҉̘̫̪͘u̷̞̠͇̣̤̭̥͉̘̱͙̯͈͓̭̮̳̙͔̓̒ͧ̉ͯ͑̓͂̀͟͠r̸̴̹̜̝̹̻̟͒͊͌ͦ̾ͤ̅̈̔͢͠!̶̶̨̝̞͉̞̱̬̮͚̞̣͉̋͆͐̽ͧͧ͂̀ͭ́ͥͫ͡ ̷̧ͯ̅ͪ͛̂͆ͦ̈́͛̄͗ͫ̋ͤ͡͏̭͉̜̯͇͔͖̙̦̘̗̗H̨̘͍̻̮̲͖̬̩̗̩̯̯̟̰̩̾̉͛̄ͨͥ͛̽̊̎̉̃̉ͥ̅ͦͧ͌̕̕͞á̢̬͎̻̞̙̖̱̼͌ͭ̌ͧ̾ͮ͋ͮ̀̚ś̷ͤͥ̓́ͥͥ͂ͥͣ́̒̉͏͡҉̘̣̼̮̝̤̲̳͙̪̯̦̗͖̘̲tͦ̇̌̿̈́̈́̄̔͒͐̑ͣ̏̏͊̓͛̕͘͟͏̬̼̘̬͖ů̸̸͔̬͖̱̣͚̩̠͙̼͍͓̺̬̝ͯͮ̾̿̍̈́ͭ̽̐͋ͬ̃̚̕ͅr̴̥͙̠̬͎͈̙̻͓̯̳̐̊ͭͫ̆̾ͬͣͅ!̸̶̨͔̮̬̹̒̃́̆ͯ͊ͤ͗̉̄̍ͫ̎ͮ͟͜ ̝͕͇̩̳̜͖̠̺̥̮͎̖̅̇ͣ͋͒̾͌͒́̚̚͘͝H̶̳̣̝̯̘̤̦̲͚̹̭̤͉͎̝̃ͤ̓̍̄͛͆́̍͊ͬ͘̕̕͡a̛̅͂̈̏ͥͦ̏̈́ͦ̏͑̀̒҉̣̩̺̲̱͕̖͕̹͍̫̘̳̗͉͓̀s̸̸̷̢͍̗͔͎̖̻͍̖̫̍ͮ̈́ͭ̋̽ͦ͋͆̄̽̀̍ͧ͘t̷̠̼̯̦͇̳̤̠̬͓̯͚͇̦̩̞͑̓ͩͮ́ͤͧ̏͊͜͡u̲̙̤͉̰̟̱̮̱̭̖͖ͪ̃ͥ̿̂̀͝ͅŗ̖̮̯̳̙̣͙͚͔̱͈̤̞͉̔ͦ͋̈́̆̎̂ͦ͗͛̂̀͘͞!̷̡̧͓̳̣̱͚̩̲̲̟̬̹͙̲͉̲̑ͥͥ̑̿̑̆͂̇ͮ͂͗̂ͫ͘͠ͅͅͅ Y̶̧̡̨̨̻̪͙͓̞̘̟̙̘̭͍̗̣͚̙͈̯̳͐̑̈́ͤ̈́̂̊ͬ̾ͩͤ͋̌͂̽͋͒̉ͥ'̶͇̩͓͍̯̩̤͇̬̥̬̰̼̫͔̓̂ͥͯ̀͑͋ͦ̑̌̈͂͒̓ͥ͂̿̋̃͠Gͧ͂̔̔̑͆̃͐̓ͨ̈́ͥͮ͜͟͢͏̖͍͍͙̠͇̮͖͙͔̯͕͎̠̥͚͓̟ȏ̲̪̺̥͍̟͕͖̺̼̬̩̳ͤ̐ͭ̒̐̊͡͡͠ͅl̛͔̬̦͇̪͓̦̜̙̹̲͍̙͍̿̐͌̒͋͌ͦ̊̍ͪͭ̌̋̍ͣ̐̓͒́͠͝o̷̖͇̰͔͉̞̠̺͒̃͌̂ͬ͊̀̌̈̇̑ͦ̅͊ͩͯ̚̚͢͢͢͟n̵̵̡͖̞̱͔͉̱̰̦͕̍ͧ̐ͮ͂̉̅̃̆͌͐́̈́͜a͓̱̘̲̜̳͉̭͇̫͂̔̊̌͌ͣ͡c̡͊͊̂̓ͦ̄̒́͏̢̯̺̪̦͈!̨̱̭̞̺͔̦͔̩̦̩̥̥̬͈̄̓̈́ͭ͊̋ͫ̓ͬͦ̊̓͌͋̚͠ O͇̩̺͙̓̅́ͫ͐̂ͥͬ͐̍̍́͜ţ̧͇̥̪̺̭̥̯̞̲͖͙̱̜ͦ̃ͮ̆͒͢ͅh̹̜̥͓͕̜͋̋̇ͥ̇͑͑͘͞͠ę̢͋͂̑͆̆͌͐̆̅͌͑̎ͦ͜҉̱̰͚͕͟r̨ͤ̈̈́̏̆̾͌͏͈̜̥̩͡ ̢̝̜̝̮̬̠̺͂ͨ̅ͩ͒͜͞e̵̵̺̳̣͚͖͚͚̤̮̼̠̩̰̯̜̒ͭ́͑̀ͯ͆͆͐ͬ̈́̾̽͢͡l͗̆͒ͣ̉̓̃ͫ̿̌̄͏̛̪͔̗̭̠͘d̵͎̦̞̭͉̯̘̪͓̺̩̭͎̗̜̙̣ͧ́͒ͮ̓͡ͅr̴̥̘͎̥̽̒̋͐͒ͧ̏ͧ̽̐̽̑͆̌ͭ̓̔́î̵̧̛͖̲͇͚̟̪͑͗̈ͥ̄ͣ̉ͤͣ̏̈̋ͪ̀́̚t͈̪̫̫̩̍̄̈́̈́ͬ̅̾ͮͯͥ̑ͨͣ̆́ç̢̰̫̭̬͕̫̠͉͉̲͓̟̋̈ͧͩ̀ḩ̸̫̜̬̟̠̊ͨ̎ͮ̇̃̓͆ͭ̆̀̆̂͘͢͠ ̵̪̠̹̻͈͕̮͈̞̤̭̮͎̮̖̽ͣ͒̎̌͐̂̍̔̕ͅḥ̵̸̞̙̬̤̣̘̳̘̝͉̜̜̓͋̍̽ͤ̉̔̉̃͋̔̈́͗̎̾̅̒̾͢ͅo̢̢͉͈͖͔͇̺̱͙̯̠̮̼͕ͪͥ̌́̅̍͋̋̄͑ͫͭ́̉̐͞r̸̸̘̹̬̜̖͊͒̿̆͗̓͊ͥ͂͡r̊̓͊͂͑̆̊͊ͪ̒̉̏̓͆̚҉̰̥͈̲̪̮͖͕̭͚̻̯̝͙̝o̸̧̡̩̮̺̯̜ͦ̌̎̔̇͆ͭͣ͝ŗ̸̧͖̱͇͎͍̖͕̜̩̟̟̫̎ͪ̈́̅ͦ̾̒ͧ͗̑̊͆̍ͬͩ̚͜͞ ̴̨̢͇͙͓̝̭̫̯͓̟̼͚͍̣̺͖͚̲̌ͫͧ̈ͨ́i̷̴͕̜̖͓͚̣̙̲̤͔͔̪̙̹̫͈̾̿̍̚͠ͅn̷̨̛͈͓͖̞̪̜̮̳͇̼͙̬̪͕̠͂̄͑ͧ̇͋͋ͯ̓̓̚͡v̵̸̨̛̜̪͓̜͔͇̖͖̲͚ͫ̓̋ͬ̋̎̐ͬͣ͑̈́͊̔̄̉ͫ͜o̵͇͈̼͕̟̤̦̐ͦ͒ͭ̽͑͂́̚͞c̢̩̫̮̹͍̰͇͉͇̬͛̿ͩ̾̓̓̊̾̾ͣ͞a̴̸̢͖͎̪̻̱̟͚͍̰̙͚̝̺͍̙̰̼̠ͬ̂̓̓̂̋̈̀͟t̮̫͇̥̖̯̪͓̻͈ͭ͆̂͋̓͂͗ͫ̂̑͋ͫ͋̽̄ͪ̉̑̑͠͠ͅi̲͕̻͙̗̙͙̋̅͋̿̓ͮͭ̓̇̀ŏ̸͕̘͓̝͕̟̟̗̭̲̦ͧ̓͋ͯ͒ͣ͢ņ̩̳̯͊̔ͯͮ̀ŝ̭̹͉̱͇̗͓̣̾ͫ͗ͫ̊͐ͧ̈͛̎̅̈́̒͐̍͛̚͘͢ͅ ̶̣̻̤̳͍̫̻̘͖̥̻̘̳ͦͩ̍̓ͫ́ͫͤ̿̓̏̍̇ͧ̚̕I͑̾ͩ̍͌ͨͪ̂͂͏̶̬̦̭̱͙͉̀͞ ̢̧̭̱̙̭ͪ̓ͩ̽͂͐̈̊̍̎ͦ͋̃̀͢͞C̸̢̻̙͔̱̫̗ͦͧ̄̑͊̿̉̑̕B̸̷̡͖̜̘͍̳͕̹̼̫̬̖͚̹̳̬͖͎̈́͐͌̓̓̓ͫ͐͑̎̈̾̽̕ͅA̴̳͇̩͎͍̪̠̤͍̗̝̥̣̭̗̠̮ͥͦ̽ͦ̇ͧ̒̀̂͐̓̇̚̚͜͢ ̢̆ͩ͐̇͗ͫ͗ͮ̽͐̇̈̎̒̍͌͏̤̞͈͙͚̻͉͇̩̫̗̳̫̙́͜͠ţ̲͎͈͈͙̟̠̪̥̺͔͍͈̤̲̂ͦ͊ͩ̈́ͩͥ͌ͩ̑̊ͫ́͘͘o̶̷̴̦̤̲̘͍ͫͩ̂͛̑̅̊̑ͦͪ̈ͧͧ͑ͭ̈ͣ͘͝ ̡̠͓̫̮̤̹̮͈̮̊̇ͦ̋̍̈́̈̅̈͊̆ͣ͑ͧͦ͌̚̕͜͟Z̸̛̮̝̳̦͍̺͚̼̣͓̩̘̗̫̙̲̟̈́͑̔̑͌̓̌ͧ̐̒̊̀ͫ̌̉̚͢͞ā̴̰̺͎̝̫̦̱͖̜̩ͧ̈́̈̏̃̀̇͋͋ͤͥ̈́l̢̡̪͔͔̼͚̹̞͋̌͂͑̓ͪ̎͆̈̄̅̒͛͂ͫͫ̈͊́͘͟g̵̢̢̾ͪ͗̍̆̿̅͋͌̓͗͊̎̽̅͌̓̒҉̨̺͚̘͚͍̱̰̞̰͎̫͙o̖̲̪͚̾ͯͦ́̃̀̀ͮͥ̓̏ͩ̈́ͣͪ́͠-͛̑͋̂̔̐͊̃̂̏͋̿̃͢҉͞҉͕̮̟̟i̷̢̨͈͖̱̜̭̟̠͙ͩͣ̎͂͐̊̂̌̿ͨͧ͆͑͋̐̎̏f̷̟̖̞̖̤͚̦͋ͦ̅̎̓̕yͨͨ̽̽͊̎̀͘͠͏͕͎̖̝͍̰͚̲͕̝̼͍͝ ̨͍̯̺̫ͨ̂͐̎̈̅͗ͮ͒́̌ͥ̑͛͛̔̕r͚̝̹̙̳̪͉̯̖͚̪̲̳̺̦̰͚̃̀̑͐̾̔ͮ̐́ͫͥ͑͗̎ͬ̕͟͜͞i̵̛͖̲̥̯̙̦̯̫͇̘̮̘̱̱̙ͯ̃̓̽̎̏̽̊ͧ̆ͬ̑̈̓ͅg̨̙͙̝͙̱̟̭͚̰͕̬̪̞̻̈͛̀͂ͭ̋̏̎͗ͨ͊͘̕͟͠h̴͉̖̠̹̺͈͇̻̙̟̪͖̖̫͇̩͖̘ͮͮ̏̀̉ͨ̈̌̓ͫ͘͝͞t̷̷̄̔͋ͧͭ̽̍́̕҉̟̰͚̳͖ ̧̦̬̰̼̲̼̮͓̗̬̤͇̫̝̟̩͒ͤͨ͑̀ͮ̑̎ͬ̎ͩ̈́̏ͯ̏̒͒ͭ̀͢ṉ̨̮̬̔̂͌ͫ͒ͫͯ̽̑͛̿́̕͜o̴̶͕͎̞̗̮ͮ̔̇͒̈́ͫͪ͂̏ͨ̓̚͜ͅw̧ͪ͒ͥͣ͊ͪ̍҉̵̱̫͉͡͡ͅ!̸̧͑͌͋͒͂̀̿ͧ̚҉̶̗͍͔̰̖̖̥ͅ

You see, that's the trick. We know it's the Illuminati, but we don't know who it is!

What about IP tracing

It's obviously going to lead to a false address via use of a proxy.

I mean that's just basic Internet usage right there.