HypnoHub - Kink or fetish ?

AnnoyinGoblin

11/23/17 10:26PM

Kink or fetish ?

Hi !

Recently (a few days ago, in fact), while roaming Reddit, I stumbled upon an article trying to explain the difference between a kink and a fetish. (article here : [spoilers]filthy.media/what-s-the-d...242.1495767812[/spoilers] )

Tl;Dr : A kink is something you like, you enjoy. A fetish is something you NEED to be sexually aroused, or else nothing happens.

Since I had never made the distinction between those terms before, I wondered if I was the only one in this case, and sharing it here seemed appropriate ^^
Feel free to share how you came to have this kink/fetish, and how it has affected you, if you want, as well.

Note : if this thread goes too much into privacy, or is too invasive, I won't complain if it ends up locked or removed.

liquidhobo

11/23/17 10:42PM

ITT: comparing oranges to mandarins

Dr_Mabuse

11/23/17 11:38PM

Kind of in the middle for me? I believe it'd be a <<en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia#Intensity_and_specificity|preferred paraphilia>>. I can get hard off vanilla things, but the kink always makes the fantasy hotter

Defcon7

11/24/17 12:17AM

Guess hypno is a kink for me then...

IttyBit

11/24/17 02:02AM

It's definitely a kink.
I really love hypnosis, but I don't 'need' it to get off

akaece

11/24/17 04:28AM

I think that's a bullshit line to draw, honestly. At that point, you're relegating "fetishes" to the status of mental disorders and the word effectively loses its utility. Colloquially, we call stuff like BDSM porn "fetish porn" rather than "kink porn" - and "foot fetishes" rather than "foot kinks" - and everyone seems fine with it, so it's never made much sense to me why people try to push this new distinction. Yes, there are people with OCD that prevents them from sexual fulfillment if the chick they're with isn't wearing a particular set of blue socks, and that should probably not be in the exact same category as "kink," but I don't think we need to basically remove the word "fetish" from our vocabularies for the sake of it. Think it's way more useful to continue using it in the slightly more nuanced way - that is, something closer to an obsession than a kink, but without needing to be totally dominating your desires 100% of the time.

(I think I'm only passionate about this because "fetishist" is a way better title than "kinkster." I can't hear "kinkster" without thinking of the kinds of creeps who currently refer to themselves that way, whereas "fetishist" doesn't really have the same stigma to me.)

Obscenario

11/24/17 05:52AM

akaece said:
I think that's a bullshit line to draw, honestly. At that point, you're relegating "fetishes" to the status of mental disorders and the word effectively loses its utility. Colloquially, we call stuff like BDSM porn "fetish porn" rather than "kink porn" - and "foot fetishes" rather than "foot kinks" - and everyone seems fine with it, so it's never made much sense to me why people try to push this new distinction. Yes, there are people with OCD that prevents them from sexual fulfillment if the chick they're with isn't wearing a particular set of blue socks, and that should probably not be in the exact same category as "kink," but I don't think we need to basically remove the word "fetish" from our vocabularies for the sake of it. Think it's way more useful to continue using it in the slightly more nuanced way - that is, something closer to an obsession than a kink, but without needing to be totally dominating your desires 100% of the time.

(I think I'm only passionate about this because "fetishist" is a way better title than "kinkster." I can't hear "kinkster" without thinking of the kinds of creeps who currently refer to themselves that way, whereas "fetishist" doesn't really have the same stigma to me.)

From what I understand, fetish as mental disorder is the original definition and the current blurriness between fetish and kink is a corruption of the word as it was coined. In my personal opinion it doesn't matter; much like "literally," the battle has already been lost and fetish has been diluted to be a synonym of kink. No amount of telling people they're wrong will bring the word fetish back to its original sexual meaning at this point. (I believe fetish can still refer to a magic talisman like a voodoo doll or lucky charm, so it still has nonsexual meanings.)

So fetish does have the strict definition of being unable to become aroused without a paraphilia, but no one outside of psychology majors cares about it. As far as the layman's vocabulary is concerned, fetish means the same thing as kink. I wouldn't worry about it.

akaece

11/24/17 04:31PM

Yeah, and as the article said, kink was a made-up slang term in the 70s, so words change. Reddit has just been convincing an annoying amount of people that this one shouldn't.

Anon_3.141

11/24/17 04:34PM

akaece said:
[...] Yes, there are people with OCD that prevents them from sexual fulfillment if the chick they're with isn't wearing a particular set of blue socks, and that should probably not be in the exact same category as "kink," but I don't think we need to basically remove the word "fetish" from our vocabularies for the sake of it. [...]

Maybe we need to coin a new term for people like that? That way, we can keep the linguistically corrupted version of "fetish", and the people trying to reintroduce the distinction will receive a reasonable compromise.

bullet

11/25/17 01:51AM

Yea, hypnosis is a legit fetish for me, I'll admit. My GF and I have made it so integral and crucial to our sexytimes, that my brain took it from fetish to nearly the only thing my brain considers sexual right now.

Friye

11/26/17 03:34AM

Tbh, I thought they were synonyms until today. Makes sense they aren't though.
I suppose for me by the laid out definition it varies from day to day whether it's a kink or fetish for me. Some days I need it to get there, others I'm perfectly fine without any hypnosis in my porn.

By the definition given though I have a "fetish" for consentual intercourse with a blissful (overload of pleasure kind of) ending. I can't get there if it's not even hinted to be consentual/extremely satisfying. Hypnosis in my mind is always consentual and blissful, it lends itself very easily to those two requirements.

Seems there's still some kinks to work out of that definition then, pun intended :)