I speak a pleathora of languages, some with only a grasp of grammar that makes google translating it intelligible for me. None for the translation request ones though. I guess I don't speak "porn" :((
[spoiler=And because I like to brag...]Languages I actually speak: English (+accents), Dutch(+accents), French.
Languages I understand most of on top of that: Spanish, Italian, German.
Languages I could probably figure out given long enough texts: Portugese, Swedish, Danish, maybe Norse and Hungarian. And Canadian French if it's oral. [/spoiler]
But yeah... weaboo-Japanese doesn't cut it I'm afraid.