So, I'm not going to go after anyone in specific in this, because it could possibly be the biggest waste of time in their life.
BUT I do want to commission an artist to do a piece on an D&D character my friend made, and trust me, it is a WEIRD one.
He is a half human, Half orc bard, who carries his gnome friend in a pouch on his side.
His weapon is a giant club, that is also his dick, that he also uses as a drumstick to play the drum that he carries around. (Don't ask, I am not sure how the fuck that works either, you may need a very active imagination, or take some artistic liberty just to make it work) And lastly he also carries a shield.

If there is any takers, feel free to message me directly, or just post here.

(FYI, I wont judge anyone not willing to do this, because that probably means you haven't reached full insanity)

As a former off and on D&D player in the past, I wish I could say that's the weirdest thing i've ever heard, but if I said that... that would be a lie. :P

This... Is... GLORIOUS!

Please if someone draws this, could you share the pic here? *_*

I once made a cleric that was plagued by sexual frustration and penis envy... so when we confronted a kraken halfway through the campaign, i grabbed a piece of tentacle we'd chopped off it, and used "lay hands" or whatever it's called to heal/graft it to myself, then towards the end of the campaign, i finally got to fuck something with it.
When the DM lets us do one insane thing per gathering... I usually took up that one opportunity...

Wise man xD

I usually flirting with monster girls, but I never did something so explicit... I think ti could die of embarrassment >///<

I'm not even INTO that kind of stuff, but I did it for the lolz. My group was pretty open minded. I miss them a lot :(

I imagine that there's like some slot on the one side of him to hold his dick. When erect, it's of course easier to use as a club, but otherwise better to have some sort of "sling" that holds it so that it doesn't get stepped on. I'm picturing a dick the size of one of those Sleepymaid images that take two hands to properly wield.

To top it of, for the drum, I imagine it works best when semi-erect and that he uses his hips to sway to play his drum set, which is usually a single drum that's strapped behind his back, but then is pulled forward when he wants to play some music. The shield is probably also usually on his back, too.

Just some thoughts that came into my head.

Party dissasembled?

Not particularly. We finished the campaign, then some of the group graduated college, others moved further away, and others ended relationships with each other... oh and the DM basically fell off the grid. He went to Washington DC to be a full time tutor, finished that job, then Japan to teach English, then back to the states, then somewhere else... then he ended up back by me for like, A month, and nobody has heard from him in all this. We only figured out where he'd been when he stopped by for like, 5 whole minutes. Oh, and we have no idea if he ever married or broke up with or what with his fiance.
I mean, we're glad he's making good money, traveling, and enjoying himself. But damn do we miss him and his DM skills.
Currently waiting on a close friend to start DMing. I have faith in him, he's just procrastinating in crossing the finish line in constructing his campaign.

When you go like 'I have this reallllly weird thing here *weird thing*. pls don't blame me' and everyone else is just 'Nope that's not weird' you know you're on the internet xD

This is a big reason I love Hypnohub,

Always a bigger fish...