Hey guys, since the main plot to my current game is ending soon, and future updates might seem really minute compared to what's currently release, I'm currently preparing some background stuff for my next game, cause I don't really want to milk/ be accused of milking my Patrons. Figured a second game would be a good way for them to get their bang for buck.

Anyway, introductions aside, I'm working on a Naruto game, where the plot is:

EDIT: Two plot lines to choose from at the moment, let me know which one do you guys like more!

Plot line A:
You are a ninja that was found and adopted by the leaf village in one of Orochimaru's abandoned labs. You were supposed to be a vessel for him, but you were deemed a failed experiment and was rejected as a candidate.

The story starts in the Boruto era, where you are still a Chunin despite your best efforts. As you went to watch the Genin exams, Momoshiki attacks and you are killed by the debris.

Or so you thought. The next thing you realise is that you have somehow travelled back in time, sometime between the shippuden era and when Naruto leaves the village to train. The near death scenario have somehow allowed your abilities to manifest, and you find that you're able to control the flow of time to a small extent.

Not wanting to waste this second chance, you decide to stay in this era to change your fate.

Main character's motivation:
Power, money and women.

Main character's alignment:
Chaotic Neutral

For Arc 1:
Main targets: Sakura, Ino, Tenten and Hinata for their future influence and abilities, as well as ease of control at this point in time.

End goal for arc 1: Tsunade

Method:
For the main girls, you will use Genjutsu on them to have them meet you at your hideout. You will then start training them by weakening their willpower and eventually completely controlling them.

Pros:
Story might not interfere with canon as much, due to motivations of the main character to keep the timeline stable so that Kaguya will not win.

Cons:
Might be a bit convoluted?

Plot line B:
You are a ninja that moved to the leaf village, on the way there, you stumble upon an abandoned lab. Within the lab you found equipment and scrolls containing forbidden jutsus.

You would periodically sneak into the lab to learn the jutsus and study the equipment in the lab. Eventually establishing this as your hideout.

You will eventually find out that the lab was established to research jutsus and tools that were meant to create loyal soldiers.

After your parents died while on a mission for the village, you decide that the village is not fighting for anymore, and you leave to village to start to make plans to create a village of your own and fill it with your harem. With the equipment and scrolls in the lab, you begin to make your move.

Main character's motivation:
To gain support to establish a village.

Main character's alignment:
Chaotic good/ True Neutral

Arc 1:
Main targets: Sakura, Ino, Tenten and Hinata for their future influence and abilities, as well as ease of control at this point in time.

End goal for arc 1: Tsunade (Eventually the future Kages and/or people close to the Kages.)

Method: You will ambush the targets, engage in combat and kidnap them back to your hideout. After a number of sessions, they will become completely loyal.

Pros:
A deal of more freedom in terms of the writing.

Cons:
Canon is thrown into the trash.

So yeah, these are the two that are a bit more well founded. Any suggestions or opinions on them? Which ones do you guys prefer? Also do you guys have any ideas to make it better? A? B? A combination of the two? Also have some less well established ideas, I could have them written down if you guys are interested in seeing them.

Also is there anymore information that you guys want to know about the different plot lines?

Sample art:
imgur.com/a/gTa1jR9

Yeah, kinda convoluted, and just as an aside, be very careful with a time travel plot, those tend to get messy really easy. Besides that, and this is a personal bias, feel free to disregard, if you're going to go through the effort to create something of this scale, why not make it a homebrew world or at least an unexplored location within an existing IP? From what I recall in the lore, shadier villages like Mist would probably not be too bad of a setting for a good ol' brainwash-your-way-to-victory plot. Hell, what elders they have would probably congratulate you for being a right proper bastard.

Not to be mean, but this does seem overcomplicated for a simple fun MC porn game - why not just make a Saimin Jutsu-type thing like Jimryu did ? You could have scalings on the power so it's not completely busted or just "snap your fingers and it works instantly".

And as Kinky Finn said, I think the important thing is just to make something that you feel works nicely, or that you like within your fetishes - if the focus is the MC, I don't think the universe's rules should bend what you intend to achieve within the game. In other words, it doesn't really matter if your mechanics contradict what's possible within Naruto, as long as you can have fun with them. If the focus is MC, just go for MC, not some version that could maybe hypothetically work within Naruto.

Not that trying to respect the original work is a bad thing per se, but personally, I think it should never take precedence over what you want to make out of it. When I commission stuff, as an example, I tend not to care too much about whether the situation I present could realistically happen within the fictional universe. I'm here to jerk off, not think about meta implications, after all.

why are you attacking them, are you not a loyal leaf ninja? attacking them and their teams would be treasonous; your character needs better reasoning there

I say cut the time travel, it's almost never a good idea unless it's restrained heavily

heavy restraint time travel could be having a limited time travel period of about a few hours, it's only good for a reset button if things go bad, maybe even a limited use reset button requiring a good amount of recharge time; Fire Emblem: Echoes has an example of this; a game feature lets you rewind turns if things go badly, but it has limited charge

Yeah, the time travel plot is mostly just "a few days" kind of thing, wasn't meant to be something super OP.
The issue with the home-brew world thing is mostly I feel like if I want to tackle a game based within another IP, I should make use of the universe that the series has. If not it would just be like a non related game with lookalikes of the universes characters.
The Mist village thing sounds interesting though.


I considered the Saimin-jutsu angle, but it might have been a bit too tough, cause it would be hard to make it not overpowered and tie progression into it.
Yeap, I agree that it should be something that fits in nicely, but I feel like making a pre-existing universe bend it's rules for you might be lazy writing, cause I feel that if I want to make something based around an existing IP, I should make use of the elements that exist in the IP itself. A couple of rule bending here and there is fine, but I just don't want it to reach a point where everything in the universe falls nicely on to the lap of the player.
Sorry if I sound rude, wasn't my intent, just wanted to place my stance haha.

The whole time-travel thing doesn't have to happen, neither does the whole capture or even "you are from Konoha" aspect, I was just wondering if there is another angle I could tackle that would explain how you know the girls, and wouldn't affect the canon by too much.


The time travel part was intended as a "go back a couple of days reset button". Which would be explained in game where you don't use this ability too much cause:
1) It uses a lot of chakra
2) You might mess up the timeline too much and would kill everyone (including yourself) cause you might cause a butterfly effect that leads to Kaguya winning.
As for the attacking them part, you're loyal to the village, but you still want to build your own army/ harem, so you'll be attacking them via disguise to capture them.

Before I state my opinion, I want to say that my experience with the Naruto franchise is minimal compared to others, but I do have some knowledge of it. However, I know next to nothing about the Boruto series.

I agree with godzillahomer on that your character's reasoning is weak. Having him both want to be loyal to the village while also want to make a harem using methods of torture on his own team mates just sends conflicting messages. Why not make him be vindictive and want to take down the village from the inside or something? It'd at least give him an excuse to go after vital members of the village such as Ino and Sakura. Like make up your mind on what your character's alignment is. Is he neutral? Chaotic good? Lawful evil? I feel like if you can narrow down on the type of character the mc is, it'd help with his characterisation.

Also, I understand you don't want to go down the overused "Simain-jutsu". I can understand that. It's overused and it's mostly used as an excuse to just get the fucking in doujins. Why not take a slower approach? You say your character is found in an abandoned lab from the Boruto era, right? It's run down and dilapidated. However, if your character goes back in time, he could find the lab in a workable condition and can find and build tools to use for his mind control experiments rather than some kind of convenient "pocket dimension".

Also, why not take the character's abilities in to perspective and use them for your advantage? Ino's ability of taking control of other's bodies for example, could be used to help other victims fall into your control and such.

only reason I can think of for the character doing what they're doing would be Orochimaru messing with their head and the time travel making that worse

heck, I recall the Ambu having a hypnosis technique in a filler episode, let me check and see

yep

naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Time_Reversal_Technique

The first thing that hits me wrong is having the story start with Boruto.
Unlike DBS which has some merits, most people agree that Boruto is just inferior to the original and shippuden. So outside of 'maybe' Sarada and a few others as as secret character(s) I don't think it should even be included.

I do like the idea for the slower more gradual MC, as I personally enjoyed the MC in NC, but if it's all torture then know that people tend to have anything violent as a turn off.


If your going to try and really make this "feel" like a Naruto game. THEN REMEMBER TO HAVE THE CHARACTERS USE THEIR JUTSUS!
This is a REQUIREMENT, it be like fucking... Jojo without Hamon or Stands, Bleach without ghosts, Death note without the Death note.

Those are my cents, really liking the showcased art so far, and I hope the project goes smoothly

Think loyal might have been the wrong word on my end, "neutral" would have been more accurate I think. It's more of a case where he's not out to get the village, and it's more like a tool I guess? Like when you use a hammer you don't want to break the hammer, but if the nail is being annoying, you'll still hit as hard as you want? So I guess he's probably chaotic neutral?

Basically what I'm going for is:
1)The character is not out to destroy anything or anyone, his motivations are mostly motivated by self gain.
2)He won't do really extreme stuff out of self-preservation, such as destroying the village, cause messing up the timeline too much might lead to Kaguya succeeding and him dying.
3)Not interfere too much with the canon, as most of his actions will be hidden/ behind the scenes.

As for the "saimin-jutsu" part, the main concern is mostly that it wouldn't be progression based, like "Do you need to repeatedly cast it?", "Is it a one time thing?", "How would that tie in with the sex scenes?" etc. Though I am getting some ideas now lol.

Hopefully I didn't sound rude or aggressive.



I see! That is interesting!

No worries. I was actually concerned that I was coming off a little too aggressive.

I also have two other concerns. One is about the number of characters. In many cases, the more characters there are, the more.... "shallow" the characters become, I guess. Like if you have too many characters, the less time is focused on developing the characters you already have. Just a mild concern though.

My other concern is about the usage of Naruto. Your other game uses original characters, so this wasn't a concern, but I don't really know the risks of using a licensed property like Naruto while also benefiting from it from using things like Patreon. I'd be cautious and look into this type of stuff. I know it's only a fan game, but these types of things have had action taken against them before, so you never know.

Ah yes, for the "shallow" characters issue, I was thinking that in the beginning of the game (arc 1) the "training"/"mind control" methods would be a bit more personalized, like you'll be dealing with Sakura's and her fear/ unease of not being strong/useful enough compared to her team, Hinata and her family (the whole successor issue), etc etc. And in the second arc, it would be less personalized as you abilities would be stronger now and it would be more about gaining access to them.

The IP thing shouldn't be too big of an issue, I'm pretty small scaled and Japan is more lax about their IPs compared to others like DC (Something unlimited) or Avatar (4 elements trainer). I heard Nintendo is pretty tough on their IPs tho.

My two cents...

I would absolutely love this. Love Naruto and all that.
And I would not be TOO concerned with using an existing IP. There's a creator I support currently working on multiple Shonen IP games, one of which is Dragonball and Toei is super anal about people using their stuff (See; DBZ Abridged) and these other games haven't been taken down.

Also; I absolutely love your current project, so I would be hyped to see something Naruto from you

EDIT: I will say the time travel bit, and pocket dimensions bit seems convoluted. You COULD have your character be a morally dark ninja who is using a family jutsu, or possibly heirloom with magical powers OR technology which allows the player to control people, and once higher level of control is established you can really dig in so much so that you "Enter" their consciousness for deeper training

Thanks man! Glad you liked Nano! Hopefully this project would be something that doesn't disappoint!

And yeah, the general consensus is that the time travel plot seems unnecessarily complicated. The other plot seems to be preferred...

Heya guys, I updated the post and got another plot line in it, let me know which on do you guys prefer yeah!

I much rather prefer B.
In a fan game I prefer going for what could happen rather then "This happened but it just isn't shown."
It's alright to defile canon IF you maintain the spirit of the original work.
(Yes My Immortal defiled Harry potter cannon and was a monstrous train wreck, but so did HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG, and it's hilariously enjoyable.)