As stated in the title this thread is for any feedback and suggestions you guys have for the series I'm doing, Skypenotized, if you dont already know hypnohub.net/pool/show/150

Since I'm not much of a creative/good writer I'd want to hear any random ideas you guys have for this text based little relationship our characters have.

Keep in mind that the dialogue is restricted to only chats and the hypnotist is always nameless, faceless and unknown gender.
Also I'm not sure if you noticed but the hypnotist doesn't have very perverse intentions, any sexy things usually come from miscommunication or being a bit naive. So I doubt I'll ever draw the hypnotist just flat out say [start jerking on cam and send nudes.] I want this to be fun and light hearted among other things.

But also note, anything can be subject to change.

Also critical feedback is always welcome. I like having my ego popped in brutal ways to keep me on top of my game.

Great comics :). Just few suggestions - dont do really bad things with her (become a hooker or sex slave for vip persons , kill her parents ect.) and maybe... Yeah need some naked tits :D
About ideas - maybe... He accidentally open hypnolink, and she use the same techique on him. And then - they will have power over each other, but dont know about it :) she hupnotize him, he hypnotize her. This should be funny :)

Very cute so far. The art is crisp and I think the text windows convey the story very well without having to get too wordy.

As for suggestions, what if he accidentally left a command active and had to fix it? For example, he could do another photoset of her in sexy lingerie and forget to have her take it off before putting her clothes back on, so she's wearing her sister's underwear under her clothes at school the next day.

Personally, I'd suggest adding some risk for the hypnotist. As things are now, xe has nothing whatsoever to fear from poor Crystal, as she'll ignore previous chatlogs, and a simple *TRANCE* will give xir full control of the situation. Maybe Crystal's sister gets the jump on one of their chat session or something?

And, just curious, does anyone else really hate the hypnotist? I know it's very hypocritical coming from me, or just about anyone on this site, but still, while xe is not doing anything drastic, xe's still using a friend for personal gain. Something about that just rubs me the wrong way...

I was thinking of a part where the hypnotist also get tranced but since he/she is to remain fully anonymous it may be a little difficult to do anything interesting with that idea, its on the drawing board regardless.




I like the idea of accidentally forgetting to remove a command, I can probably play around with that since it sounds like it falls perfectly under the nature of the series.

Well anytime he/she does use her s/he pays her back in some way, I.E free lunch, feeling good from giving stuff away and what not. They're not a total dick/cunt since both people usually benefit in some way~

As for risk factor, I was thinking perhaps someone does get wind of it and end up getting tanced as well, like a teacher, gal pal, sister, etc. but for now I'll keep the cast limited.

I'm actually against the idea of the hypnotist getting hypnotized, since A.) it would be really boring without actually showing the hypnotist, which ruins the point of keeping him/her ambiguous and B.) I really like what they've got going on right now.



You're right, that does sound very hypocritical coming from someone on this site. :P

But that does sort of give me an idea. What if our hypnotist started feeling kinda bad for all the things he's (I'm just gonna refer to the hypnotist as male to differentiate him from the female sub) made Crystal do (either intentionally or unintentionally), and decided to try and use his hypnotic control over her to actually help her for once? Of course, it will hilariously backfire in some way, perhaps resulting in more sexy fun for us viewers. I'll try and brainstorm some scenario where this could work, I just wanted to pitch that idea.

I wouldn't mind seeing this. Maybe after a certain point and she becomes aware of what's going on and starts to find it fun, if begrudgingly.

Since the whole series is based on back fires and oopsie daisies Mindwipes idea seems pretty easily doable
As for Contorted I think the most fun is coming from the fact that she is unaware so taking that away would probably really change the direction of the series.

Love the series so far!

I'd make a suggestion but can't think of anything that isn't evil and within how you want the plot.

To throw in my own two cents, I'll go based off of what is going on in my own life:

If not explicitly perverse things (because hey, a story is boring if the climax is climaxing itself), teasing is always fun.

Based off of how she reacts to whenever she admits to her masturbation habits - she's aroused easily, enjoys sex, but is too embarrassed to admit her sexuality publically.

Based off of how he acts - he's a bit self-centered, but good-natured. It wouldn't be a stretch of character at all (if worded a bit properly) to have him teasing her, simply to run into an "oopsy-daisy" moment.

And a short little bit as additional food for thought: Usually it's him going too far, and covering his tracks. What if she goes too far, and he has to use his control to keep the distance there?

Yes, they indeed do make it up to her in some way. I just feel it's too one-sided to be called "being nice" and more of a "clear my conscience" kind of thing. Objectify a friend for cash without them even knowing? Buying them a meal will make up for that. Trick them into giving away the fruits of hours, days, possibly even weeks of effort, even if it's just in a game? It's okay, I can make them feel good about it. Points for the sentiment, but I just feel they're borrowing fifty bucks and returning ten to call it even.

Sorry if I'm coming off as some kind of moral crusader here, for that's not the intention, again, I'm aware of the whole hypocrisy thing... or would it be hypnocrisy? It's just that, at least in my eyes, the dom's actions towards a friend border on inconsiderate and disrespectful, some of the few things that really get me furious.

Overall I really like the series. Art style is good and it's fun to read the manips. I can't think of any suggestions off the top of my head though I'll try to come up with some.

Keep up the good work.

I really, really like that the gender identity of the top is kept vague; it helps me get into the pictures a lot more, because of a reason.

I would love to see more accidental shenanigans.

I think you did a good job at analysing the characters, you're pretty dead on for most of what I had in mind for them. Though usually (i'll just call the hypnotist x for now) x wants something out of Crystal when x uses hypnosis so simply teasing her wouldn't be enough unless their is some kind of benefit for the both of them from, from how I picture it.



Don't worry about being a moral crusader of the social justice warrior factions and what not, their just fictional character so any well thoughout feedback is good feedback.
But what you say is very true, x certainly isnt the one getting the shit end of the stick. Perhaps it may lead x to feel guilty after a certain point :o