Yeah, it's time for me to hang it up. Retire. Move on. Bring the Black Wave and all related endeavors to a close. It's hard to even imagine. I've been the Black Wave since I was 20. I'm 27 now. Obviously, I'm used to things changing in that amount of time, but lately... It's been getting less fun, and I'm gonna try to explain why, because the people who have supported me deserve that much.

The first problem I need to cite is the most recent one, and it's one that came about as a side effect of success. The erotic-hypnosis-art community, as passionate as it is, is fairly small. I pursued my art in the hopes that it would one day be a full-time job, but it's no longer clear to me that it's even possible for it to be that if I'm only catering to my favorite fetish. At first I thought I would simply expand into other subjects, but in doing that, it didn't take much time for me to start to feel like I was losing control of what the Black Wave even was. It seemed like I was facing a crossroads between becoming a machine that mass-produced piece after passionless piece in the hopes of making some money, or throwing away all the progress I had made towards financial viability to pursue whatever whim I was passionate about. The former option was and is immediately unacceptable to me. The latter didn't sound too bad... but that brings me to the second issue. And here is where I put a warning that things are about to get, for want of a better word, political.

I've been the Black Wave since I was 20. I'm 27 now. I'm white. I'm heterosexual. I'm a cisgendered man. I'm able-bodied. I'm neurotypical as far as I know. I've never really been a person of faith, but I was born into and raised around Christian traditions. I've lived in good neighborhoods all my life, and my parents always had plenty of money to provide for me. I have what you might call a straight flush of privileges. But because of all that, it's taken me a long time (far too long) to begin to understand the experiences of people who don't check off all the boxes I just listed. Even though I knew that the scenarios I fantasized about and depicted in my art would be morally wrong if performed in real life, I didn't understand how closely related the desires I harbored were to the desires of those who would actually abuse, subjugate, and assault women. But even that on it's own wouldn't have made me stop. I can keep my fantasy and my reality separate. What pushed this issue over the edge for me was watching that desire for real subjugation take over my country. Over and over I've watched men with many of the same privileges as me climb over piles of screaming victims to ascend to the highest ranks of power and influence. I've seen them sneering at anyone who dares to question that they're entitled to whatever, and whoever, they want. I've paid attention to how they attempt to justify themselves, and in so doing, I've found something disturbing: reflections of my own thoughts and fantasies. Again, I trust myself to keep fantasy and reality separate, but when you see something you've enjoyed harmlessly being used for great evil, it's just... not as fun any more.

So, I'm bringing this chapter of my life to an end. I think I would like to dedicate the next chapter to fighting that evil I described, but I have a few more loose ends to tie up before I can move on. First, all my pages are staying up just as they are. No need to save your favorites. Just because I can't enjoy my work as much any more doesn't mean you can't~. Second, all outstanding commissions will be completed, I have no intention of ripping anyone off. Third, the drawings produced during the "Fight Evil, Draw Smut" charity event will continue to roll out one per day on my DeviantArt and on my Twitter, until all twenty-two pieces are available to the public. Fourth and finally, just to be totally clear: commissions and requests are closed, streams are cancelled, and all Black Wave projects and activities should be considered discontinued. Perhaps somewhere down the line, if the mood strikes me, I'll produce something with a Black Wave flavor again. I don't see myself giving up art altogether, after all. Plus, I'll be around for a few more days to answer questions or comments. And even thereafter, I suspect I'll still be spotable at the usual hypno-haunts every once in a while, just browsing around, as one does~. So, you never know when we might encounter each other again. I hope it will be as allies. May you fare well until then. =)

For the final time, and with love,
Black Wave

It's sad to hear this, enjoyed your art immensely and I liked watching your streams. Still, it's your life and ultimately doing something you don't enjoy wouldn't be fun for anyone, so your decision is completely understandable. I wish you all the best in the future!

You will be missed my man
but yeah your life comes first and life today requires money.

If you feel that you've lost your passion for this kind of art, it probably would be good to take a break from it.

The third text block is a bit concerning; it sounds as though you are taking on guilt for things that are not your fault. The group you "belong to" by virtue of what you were born as does not reflect upon you. You are not evil simply because a man or several men do bad things. You are not evil because you share a fetish with someone who did a bad thing. You are not evil because someone who is not you cannot tell fantasy from fiction.

I can surely understand that perhaps the fetish feels less fun because some people spoiled the fun for you. But I do want to stress that you should not take to heart that things you have no control over somehow affect your own morality. You are you, and you are only you. Only your own personal actions determine whether you are good, bad, or somewhere in between.

as the others have said, we'll miss you, come back any time

Damn that sucks, you were on the list of my next commissions too - oh well, I can understand your reasoning, even though I don't really agree with it personally. Have a good one.

I could not have possibly said it any better. A thousand times this.

It's always a shame when someone contributing to the community hits the ol' dusty trail. You shall be missed, sir. May your travels be met with fortune and success in all that you do. I've no doubt that if you do decide to come back for a fling or two with the hub you'll only find a group welcoming you back with open arms.

I also agree with Changer. This reads like you're internalizing the political drama going on in the world and have conflated the dominance inherent to the hypnofetish with the feeling of powerlessness that you feel with the world at large. If you need a break, take a break. But this reads more like you're having a mental breakdown without realizing it. Get some air, relax, and if and when you feel better, you know where to find us.

Sorry to see you go. Thanks for all the amazing art.

That's a damn shame dude, I've been a silent admirer of your work for some time now and I've felt its always hit a very enjoyable sweet spot between blatant lewds and charming humour. I won't begrudge anyone a little introspection, and quite frankly if you personally do not find any more joy in artistic endeavours, then who is anyone else to tell you otherwise? That said, I must echo what's already been said, and say that its more than a little alarming to hear a kink artist feel ashamed for their tastes because entirely unconnected individuals have done this and that. You are not responsible for anyone else's behaviour, regardless of what shallow justification they may offer.

Yeah man, gotta reflect what some people here are saying, it's not a good sign that politics have had such an effect on you that your fetish and your passion for making this kind of art is being affected, even when they have nothing to do with you. You don't need to be ashamed of yourself for being a straight white guy, there are plenty people who're scumbags and aren't straight white guys, that's just how the world is. You should take a break, not just from drawing but from the current political climate in general, it seems like it's really damaging your opinion of yourself and who you are.

Best of Luck BW~ I wish you all the best *hugs and kisses*

bro

Alexa, you know what to do

Hey all, just popping back in after a week of doing pretty much nothing but playing the new Fire Emblem to answer some of the reactions that you've been sharing. First and foremost, thank you so much for the understanding and well-wishes, it really does mean something to me to hear that I'll be missed but that people are hoping the best for me anyway. Now that I'm going away, I want to encourage everyone to take that love and shower it upon artists who are still working and providing for this community. Give folks their flowers while they're still alive, so to speak~. =)

I also want to clarify what I wrote about not finding the job/hobby fun anymore, and how that's related to the state of the world right now. I feel it's important, and I can tell by some of the reactions I'm getting that I didn't explain it well enough. Let's try a metaphor. Think of something you like. It can be anything, really. For this example let's use... I don't know... pogo sticks. Let's say you're really into pogo sticking. You pogo stick so much that it becomes a fairly relevant part of your identity. But let's say that one day, you see on the news that someone was beaten to death, and the murderer used a pogo stick as their weapon. I think that, if you're like most people in that situation, it wouldn't cause you to stop pogo sticking. Maybe for a little while, at least, the activity would occasionally remind you of that gruesome incident, and maybe that would dampen a little bit of the fun every once and a while. But, of course, you'd always be able to remind yourself that it had nothing to do with you, or your love of pogo sticks. But now let's suppose that murder wasn't the last of its kind. Another pogo stick murder is reported a few weeks later. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon, "what to do about pogo stick murders" is a topic of national conversation on a daily basis. Yet, all the while, the problem seems to just be getting worse and worse. The pogo stick murders are getting more and more brazen, but the police and politicians, the forces that are ostensibly supposed to protect against such threats, seem to be caught up in a debate about whether pogo stick murders are even a real thing. Some people insist that our supposed upholders of law and order are, in fact, pogo stick murderers themselves. That maybe seems like a stretch to you at first, until the videos start coming out. At this point, you'd probably never look at a pogo stick the same way. Maybe you'd still be able to enjoy pogo sticking in the innocent way you always have while in private, sharing only with a small, tight-knit community of enthusiasts. You'd probably avoid doing it in public, though. Not because you feel guilty, you haven't done anything wrong, after all. YOU know you that you'd never use a pogo stick to harm anyone. But you understand that these days, when a stranger sees you with a pogo stick, they have every reason to believe that you might be a danger to them.

When I, with my aforementioned straight flush of privileges, criticize white supremacy, or patriarchy, or ableism, or any such institution for the destruction and misery they have wrought, I am always met with the rebuke:

"Why do you feel guilty for things your ancestors did?"

This is... a frustrating framework to try to answer within, because it presupposes that the work of smashing forces of oppression is rooted in guilt in the first place. The fact of the matter is that the horrifying practices of our ancestors have had detrimental effects that last to this day. The people who implemented these practices are long dead, and the generations before us have failed to find adequate solutions. And so, it falls to us. Not because we are guilty of anything, but because these problems MUST be solved, and we are the only ones who can solve them.

That's the bad news. The good news is, the work of correcting the wrongs of the past doesn't have to take the form of punishment. I won't sugar-coat it, it will be hard, and it will require sacrifice at times. But punishment for punishment's sake only hurts the people at the top, it doesn't lift up those at the bottom. As some of you probably know, I held a week-long charity fundraiser just before announcing my retirement. The beneficiary was an organization helping children with detained Mexican immigrant parents. It was just a tiny thing, but I gave up some of my time to try to make life a little easier for people that the institutions of power would have me believe are my enemies. Because those kids are living the real life consequences of politics, and don't get to just take a break from the subject whenever it stresses them out. And it doesn't matter to them what I may or may not be "guilty" of. It only matters that I had the ability to help them, and chose to do so. Again, it was just a minuscule, humble little event. We raised about $380, after GoFundMe took their cut. But, I think I'll be looking for additional, more impactful ways to help in the future.

I hope that makes some sense. I don't mind if people don't want to pursue the same efforts as me, of course, but I don't want anyone to misunderstand my motives, or the broader issues at hand here. I hope you're staying safe and sane out there in this mad, mad world, and I'm wishing you all the best.