I've been thinking about how to make mind control as erotic as possible (it's for Slaver's Quest, a game I'm working on), so I've been thinking a lot about the fetish's root:

Why do we like control so much?
Why does it have to be mental control, and not physical?

How come our common tropes are things like unaware, altered perception, subconscious triggers, and mindlessness?

Where does this all come from?

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I hypothesize that for a plurality of us, our hypno-fetish stems from a dismissive-avoidant attachment style:

wiki link: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory#Dismissive-avoidant

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However, I want to confirm with you guys by hearing about your experiences (and if we're lucky, maybe learn a bit more about ourselves).

What attachment style are you?
Where do you think your fetish comes from?

(Wow, Slaver's Quest is still going? I haven't heard that name in a good while. Cool to see it's still being worked on.)

(I have no actual answer to your question though, sorry.)

I'd actually like to make one objection, in that there are those (me) who actually enjoys the physical control over the mental control (it ties into bdsm).

I've always felt like the main aspects of enjoyment for the dom is one half power trip, and the other half is a direct confirmation of trust that your partner has in you. For a sub, it's one half a freedom from inhibition, and one half submitting yourself and giving control of the situation to someone you trust.

This is coming from a switch who is more into the bdsm aspects of hypno though, and I'm not speaking on behalf of those who enjoy the cnc aspects of it.

for me is one half power trip and half freedom from inhibition, it's not like a can rape people in real life (that would be so incredibly messed up) not only that but i also like the magical side of mind control to be quite hot which is why i find real life hypnosis so boring, you can't do stuff that you do in fiction in real life

For me it has nothing to do with trust or fear of rejection. The biggest appeal of hypnosis for me is seeing someone in a subdued state of mind. So I also find contexts where that state of mind is induced by something else such as sleep or soul removal (hypnohub.net/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=158685) to be pretty appealing as well.

Why do we like control so much?
- probably to reflect our own lack of control in real life/sex life and such

Why does it have to mental control, and not physical?

- mental control means the absolution of control over another being and fetishes usually push us to the uttermost level of effect. It might have been influenced by others also after the rise of internet and we could have the opportunity to band up with each other, e.g.: you only like SM stuff at first (physically bind up someone) then you got influenced to mental control then eventually it developed into new fetish

How come our common tropes are things like unaware, altered perception, subconscious triggers, and mindlessness?

- just some common traits when controlling a person I think, when you got a hold of someone, to the extreme you would like them to be like a puppet, thus the expressionless, mindlessness.
On lower scale you would just want them to be unaware of your misdeeds, this is what I would call a false justice, you want to mess with someone but afraid of the consequences, therefore you want their unawareness, and also the surrounding environment unawareness from everyone around you, this is for when you want to dominate someone but still want to cling to your current life.
The last thing, triggers, this is when you want your doings to be just something occasionally, so you want an on/off switch. Moreover, many such as myself would love the concept of sleeper agents (or sleeper slaves heheh), your personal hidden minions going about their life unbeknown to anyone about what has been done to them, it's like an additional sign of extreme domination over someone, so much that they stay to be your slaves even after the first induction

Yeah, this is basically me, and I've come to much of the same conclusions as you.

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I'd heard that this was the appeal of BDSM, so it's good to get confirmation directly from the community. For those of you who like the BDSM parts of MC, would I be correct if I guessed you don't have secure attachment? (And if so, what attachment do you think you have?)

I think I have dismissive-avoidant attachment style, and I suspect it might be the root of why I enjoy the non-consensual side of mind control. (Just in fiction, mind you. Real-life MC would be terrifying.)

Anyways, I wanted to double check with the community because I didn't know if I was projecting myself onto everyone else.

I'm not sure what my attachment style is, as I have a weird relationship with relationships. Long story short: Adult Separation Anxiety and some sort of wizard hex.

I would say mine is Secure, although I'm probably an outlier.

On one hand I pretty sure my fetish existed very early, I don't know what stage attachment styles reasonably develop. On the other hand this does seem to describe me reasonably well and it is something I would use MC to ensure.

I do not have any impulse for attachments, and I'm oodly okay with this. I don't believe attachments are "bad", or incapable of satisfying one needs for emotional support\filling, but in my case that hunger is absent by default, thought I can't tell you if it's by my own nature or an unconscious defensive mechanism against something.

My fetish probably comes as a byproduct of this: my main kink is situations where the sub is unaware (even better if emotionless) of what it's happening, and that's probably because I cannot be bothered by all the plethora of emotions a human has during "certain moments". Assuming, in a fantastical scenario, my kink could come to my real life, I would act as a ghost: get someone under my control, use them briefly, then return her\him to the real world with no memory of it and no change\damage to her\his life (or some I think it's for the best of the subject, like a boost in confidence, in case the one could use a little push to get out from a nasty situation).

Why do I want it like this: as @laststand0810 said, because I want to avoid consequences or, better, I don't want to have other's eyes on me (I'm phobic of others attention IRL, I work behind everyone and everything, just observing and interacting with others just when strictly needed), and second, probably, because unawareness causes less interference with the normal life of my subject: I don't like to interfere when not needed, and this applies to this kinda of situations as well.

The mindless\emotionless aspect, on the other hand, is pure egoism. When I'm having sex with someone, for me their pleasure is my focus: if they have a satisfying night, I'm satisfied (me orgasming has nothing to do with this, mind me). But when I'm exerting my "power" as a dom (again, in a fantastical scenario)? Yeah, no, in that case my pleasure is my only focus, theirs becomes some sort of a nuisance because my mind would start to switch off again to "what must be done" mindset.

I believe this is the best explanation I can give.

fearful avoidant most likely
honestly my anxiety disorder shouldve tipped me off to that

I'm not sure how applicable it is for others, but my experience with myself and with subs I've worked with in the past that it is often about the balance of control in one's normal life.

I notice, those who have a fetish for *gaining* control tend to lack control over their lives (either in the present tense or in their past), while those who have a fetish for *losing* control tend to feel burdened by the amount of responsibility and pressure that they have to deal with, which often comes naturally as a consequence for having a lot of control over their lives.

Aside from the obvious of "why choose" and "there are usually laws restricting the latter," I like to think that most of us do feel sympathy for others, and humans are generally more prone to be react with sympathy to people who are physically restricted.

IOW, we may like "oppressing" others in a fashion, but we're not completely mean-spirited about it.

Attachment theory is usually used in the context of toddlers, so pretty early, I'd say.

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Okay. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the high variance in your guys' replies. This is psychology after all, not to mention that as far as surveys go, this isn't particularly scientific.

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Hmm. Most of the responses don't scream "secure attachment" to me, with maybe an exception for those who fetishize losing control. In both cases, it sounds like for most of us, there's some underlying tension - unreleased or competing desires.

Wanting to oppress, but not to hurt. Wanting to lose control, when you can't avoid having all the control. Even the very definition of fearful-avoidant is wanting & being uncomfortable with close relationships.

I guess having unfulfilled desires is part of being human, but I'm also getting the sense that these are deeply chronic. Maybe not a huge problem, but an everyday irritation that's just become part of your life.

IDK, since I always liked hypnosis & Mind Control when I was like 8 years old or something. I always loved the empty look on girl, either in RL or Anime. It's always fascinate me and how utterly erotic those expression are.

For some reason hypnotized girl always made me feels tingly and weird. It feels great for some reason. Later on I was also want to be hypnotized by trusted partner/lover. Perhaps as a way for me to have friend? IDK been alone since I was kid.

I might think this is my style "Fearful-avoidant" I desperately wanted true best friends or close intimate friends like those in fiction. But I know I can't trust anybody deeply, my parents keep saying not to trust people. Turn out they're right most of my so called friend or even best friend will eventually betrayed me or ghosting me. When I needed help the most, nobody care, not even my 'bff'. I'm also not exactly a very social person and I'm having hard time making new friends. Might be because I burned already or might because I'm shit with new peoples.

At this point it's just wishful thinking that I will get a good and loyal BFF, GF, or even just friends. Perhaps it's an accumulating desire or perhaps my brain is already fucked, who know? I don't know what would happen when stayed alone for most of your life, probably something bad, or maybe my normal feeling is abnormal.