So, I'm gonna assume there's some people in here who've been keeping up with Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. The show just keeps getting better, and it's an excellent addition (in my eyes) to the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and if you gave it a shot early on and dropped it, seriously consider pushing through to S1E6, "F.Z.Z.T." - that was the episode where they started getting consistently good).

If you're not keeping up with Agents of SHIELD, be warned, there be spoilers from here on out, and the spoilers are essential to the conversation.

So, after the events of Season 1, the remnants of SHIELD have had to go underground while HYDRA has sprung forth in full-force. In S2E3, "Making Friends and Influencing People", we're shown one of HYDRA's tried and true recruiting tactics from throughout the ages - brainwashing. It consists of your standard tactics - the swirling screen of flashing colors, the binaural rhythms, and various key phrases for ingraining/activating the programming ("Surrender and you will find meaning", "Compliance will be rewarded", etc.).

Here's where the whole "cognitive dissonance" thing comes into play. Obviously, this is a tactic within the show being used with malicious intent by our clear-cut antagonists. Meanwhile, I look at that description of the brainwashing sequence and, well, darn it if it don't get me a little hot 'n bothered. And it's not just Agents of SHIELD - I guess as far back as I can remember this being a fetish of mine, I've always had this sort of mindset of "Oh man, this is as weird as weird can be. This has got to be, like, the weirdest possible thing." Like there's never been a full acceptance in my heart about it, because as much as I like it, I can't shake that "weird" vibe off.

And I know there are empirically-weirder things out there. I've seen 'em. But I've known about this at least since high school, and here, at the ripe old age of 22, I've still never fully...come to terms with it? I guess? Like I've almost got an aversion to hypnosis-related things in every-day life (stage hypnotists, Scooby Doo reruns, basically most anything relating to hypnosis/mind control in a public setting). Hell, I'm even a bit nervous now just typing this up.

I don't know, man. This could also partially be me rambling while sleep-deprived, but this is definitely something I think about. How 'bout the rest of y'all? Anyone else got any thoughts or stories on this sort of mental conflict?

(Or if you just want to join me in yelling about how great Agents of SHIELD is, I'm totally down for that, too)

Wow that just described something I've felt for a while now. Totally with you on this one. I just try not to talk about that kind of thing to friends or whatever, as while I'm comfortable joking about other fetishes or porn related things it's a lot harder to explain what is basically a form of rape porn, but yeah I do get that feeling.

I watched this episode the other day and yeah, I gotta say as much as I love hypnosis as a kink. There's something kind of weird about finding it arousing when its clearly the villains and its clearly being used for malicious purposes.

Eh, kind of. I really don't feel bad about the kind of things that you're talking about. For me, I find it borderline hypocritical that the things that I actually want to happen to others, are things that I would be absolutely horrified by if they were done to me, both real and fictional.

Hypnocritical? Nah :P . It's a fantasy, like roleplay in your own mind. IMO, just like enjoying playing an irredeemably evil character, you can relish fantasies of utterly depraved, wicked things, and still wish only kindness on living people, which is what really matters.

All throughout middle school, I'd have, well... creepy bedtime thoughts of making slaves out of girls I found sexy... in real life, I tried to be friendly and respectful with the few I had courage to talk with. Saw them as human beings and treated them the same as I would anyone else.

No mixing fantasy and reality, no regrets for me. The only inner conflict I've really had about my fetish is the general "sex is evil!" variety, which I've grown away from.

Also: "Surrender and you will find meaning..." "Compliance will be rewarded..." if I had more patience for TV dramas, I'd be tempted to check this out!

Of course, it's important to keep fantasy and reality separate. But it's not really the fetish itself that wigs me. I understand it, can explain it, and, I guess, love it, but that's on my lonesome.

Though now, as an adult, there comes adult relationships, filled with intimacy and romance and...well, fuckin'. And as these relationships grow and develop more seriously, couples may want to start sharing their fantasies. And that's a place where I hit a sort of roadblock. Because this is my top-tier fantasy, and I'm still terrified to share it. And in the relationships where I have revealed it, I can't bring myself to enact it, even with a willing, caring, flexible partner. Which feels frustrating, because when I'm running solo, I'm fantasizing about a partner.

Does that make sense? Again, I'm possibly tired-rambling.

Also, if you want to check the scene out for yourself, <<www.dailymotion.com/video...uencing-people_shortfilms|if you can handle a Hulu ad, it's the very first scene. You can skip the "Previously on Agents of SHIELD" bit and jump straight to 0:30>>. It's really well set-up. It's the classic brainwashing machine, but done really well. Plus, Reed Diamond! :D

This really, really, isn't related to the above, but it kinda is, and I want to get it off my chest.

I...just can't get into hypnotizing guys. I can't. Well, I can, but if I have a choice...yeah. This is a very dumb thing to whine about, but hey, that's me in a nutshell. I've been trying to figure out why, and I think that I have something.

To me, hypnosis IS my sexuality. Every sexual thought I have is either hypnosis related or can be amplified by hypnosis. In some ways, I'm wondering if the problem is that it's too intimate for me to hypnotize guys. I just don't know. (Even though when I'm actually doing hypnosis, I get hyper focused and barely even consider erotic things.)

So...yeah. Is that bad?

I don't think so. I don't generally get positive sex feelings from physical fantasies because I have some... body issues, and I experience much the same set of feelings.

Ah, I getcha. I guess I just veered on to the topic because the other posters seemed to be giving off vibes of shame >.> . But yeah, I sympathize with your fear. I was extremely fortunate to find a girl who got frustrated with my aforementioned "sex is evil!" phase, and straight up asked me what turned me on. Sexually speaking, she was very open-minded to say the least. But I can say with some confidence that if we never met, I'd still be struggling with the uncomfortable feeling that I wouldn't possibly be able to share this, or any of my more "niche" fantasies, with others.

No way! Just like some (straight) people cannot abide by threesomes with mixed sexes, you shouldn't feel pressured to experiment with your sexuality outside your gender of choice. Now, the general principle might seem weird to those outside context, mind you, but to those within the community, I get the feeling it's completely normal. Different faps for different chaps.

That in mind, I'm sorry if I made things awkward in any way by offering to help you practice x) .

I can just feel the sincerity dripping off of your post. But really, glad to know that I didn't offend you. :)