Okay guys, I think I beat every dream I've ever had before with last night's dream in the sheer weirdness department.
In my dream, I met up with Gasai Yuno from Mirai Nikki, seen here:
cdn.myanimelist.net/images/characters/4/134505.jpg Only she was, you know, a real human, but she still had pink hair and I knew "this girl is Gasai Yuno". For those not familiar with Mirai Nikki, Yuno is a massive Yandere (For those who do not know what a yandere is, see here
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Yandere) and about as crazy as you can get.
In my dream, I had gone to high school with her, and she had a very stalkerly crush on me back then. At the time, I was kind of weirded out by her, and on the last day of school, when she gave me her phone number and told me she loved me and wanted me to call her so we could go out, I pretty much just threw her number away and swore to never speak to her again (though obviously I didn't tell her as much).
But now, in our late 20s, I ran into this crazy stalker girl again. She doesn't even question why I never called her back, she still has the same gleeful smile as ever and she tells me she's been waiting patiently all this time, every single day, for me to call her. She sat by the phone, every single day, for about a decade, waiting for me to call her. So I felt kiiiiinda guilty about this, so I told her that I was so sorry, and I lost her number the day after we left school, and I was TOTALLY gonna call her.
She says that's okay, because now we can date. We can even get married if we want to. She wants marriage, by the way, like, right now. So I dodge the subject and ask her what she's been doing with her life. She tells me that she is a computer programmer, and she specializes in writing phone apps. She tells me that she's just about the best in the business, and she's even written programs that her employers find to be "too extreme" and won't let her publish, much to her dismay.
So, not only does she force her phone number on me, but she forces A PHONE on me. She gives it to me, and tells me that she already knows the number so she can call me anytime she wants from now on. My friends, who are nearby, are giving me these looks of "Get.Out.Now.Dude.She's.Gonna.Stalk.You.", but I can't bring myself to be rude to her after I literally made her wait for a decade for a phone call. A call she always expected to come.
So I tell her thanks, and that I'll call her later. I walk down the road and around the corner, not even a minute away, and the phone rings. It's her. She already wants to talk to me. My friends are giving me cringe-faces, but I have no choice. How can I be mean to the poor girl, I think.
She tells me to meet her at some place later that night, and I say that I'm going to be doing something or other that night and won't be available. She gives me a cheerful "Okay!" and hangs up.
That night, I'm home alone, on my computer, and there is a knock at my door. I look through the peep hole and it's her. I never gave her my address. I open the door and ask her how she found the place, and she tells me that the phone she gave me has a GPS in it and not only does it tell her everywhere I go, but it also has a camera and microphone on it that are always running, and the phone always tracks everything that I do on it. She says she wants to know more about me, she wants to know everything about the person she is going to marry, so to her, obviously, this is perfectly normal behavior.
So I'm officially freaked out at this point. She asks me what happened to the thing I had to do, so I told her that it got canceled at the last minute and I was TOTALLY about to call her. She immediately accepts this and just says that now we can go and do the thing she suggested earlier.
So she pretty much drags me out to this office building, apparently where she works. Somehow, my friends from earlier in the dream are all there too. They're giving me more cringe-looks and basically telling me "Dude, she is going to kill you or something."
This is where the dream gets really fucking weird. Oh, you thought it was weird already? Well buckle up, folks, cause this is gonna be a wild ride.
She tells me that one of the programs she designed, and was forbidden to release, was a virtual reality program. It could create a scenario in a PC or phone, and project it to the world around you. And not only would the entire world nearby take on the appearance of this constructed world, but you would perceive any sensations that took place in this virtual world. Smells, tastes, feelings, everything would feel completely real. She says she developed this for me, so that I could experience the greatest things in life without having to leave our house. I didn't need to leave the house, after all. When we got married, she would take care of everything and I would never, ever have to go outside and away from her ever again. This was her line of thinking.
So she says that she came up with the perfect scenario to show this off to me. Only her and me will experience it, and everyone else will just be there to watch in awe at the amazing display of technology. She types some stuff into a nearby computer and presses the enter key, and suddenly, I'm in total darkness.
I can't see anything. But I feel a tightness around my body, like something is squeezing me. It's hot and wet around me, and fairly uncomfortable. The place tightens, then releases, more and more. All I can think of is "Where the hell am I? What the hell did she do?" But I can hear noises from outside of where I am. I can hear my friends' voices, and they're saying stuff like "OH MY GOD!" and "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?". What are they seeing? I have no idea.
This tight space begins to move me around, pushing me further along inside whatever this place is. Then I can feel some kind of opening, an exit. And then I am pushed, headfirst through the exit opening, and what do I realize when I look up at the open air?
I'm looking up at Yuno. From inside her vagina. She's giving birth to me. I plop out of her pussy, and she picks me up. I'm not even a baby, I've just shrunk in size to roughly the size of a baby. She cradles me and tells me that this is how it's going to be from now on. I can stay in this illusionary world forever, and she will take care of everything, and I can be her little baby. She brings me up to her breast and makes me suck her nipple and drink her milk. And at this point, I don't know if it's just the effects of the illusionary program, or something else, but I feel comforted. I have no desire to run away, or yell or fight. I like it. I want it. I don't want to leave her anymore. I love her. She's like a mother, but also a wife, and anything else I could ever need her to be.
And then I woke up.
Yeeeeah, it was weeeeird...