arms_behind_back blue_hair bondage breasts daybreak empty_eyes femsub furry happy_trance large_breasts nintendo pendulum pokemon pokemon_(creature) pokephilia red_eyes suicune text traditional

6 comments (0 hidden)

XavierBro-13
>> #94544
Posted on 2016-03-23 05:46:42
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Just something to fill the gap between now and May. More may possibly come, it's not guaranteed though.

XavierBro-13
>> #94546
Posted on 2016-03-23 05:47:29
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Plus, we need more Suicune.

dark_phoenix
>> #94590
Posted on 2016-03-23 09:56:44
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XavierBro-13 said:
Plus, we need more Suicune.


Yes.

abithig
>> #94593
Posted on 2016-03-23 10:49:42
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This is pretty good. It seems you need to work on your writing a bit though, particularly verb tense usage. Generally, you want to use the same verb tense all the way through to the end, with the only real exception being a shift in time. For instance, you really only need to use past tense verbs here, as the entire thing is being told as a recollection. Keep this in mind next time, and the writing should flow a lot smoother. ;)

XavierBro-13
>> #94598
Posted on 2016-03-23 13:44:35
Score: 0 (vote Up)
abithig said:
This is pretty good. It seems you need to work on your writing a bit though, particularly verb tense usage. Generally, you want to use the same verb tense all the way through to the end, with the only real exception being a shift in time. For instance, you really only need to use past tense verbs here, as the entire thing is being told as a recollection. Keep this in mind next time, and the writing should flow a lot smoother. ;)


Sorry. I kinda drew this at 11-12 last night and wanted to get it out as soon as possible without rushing and creating a disaster.

XavierBro-13
>> #94719
Posted on 2016-03-24 06:25:13
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Does anyone know a way to move comments and favorites to a reupload of this except with fixed verb tense in the event I stop playing Kid Icarus long enough to fix it?

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