Do you ever wonder what certain kinks you have say about you? ...I DID.
....And I don't mean just on a moral level, like... you know... like some people who wonder what things like a hypno fetish tell you about yourself on that level.
The whole "moral" issue is a topic that was already discussed once on here, I mean how things, even if they're subtle, make you realize when you self-analyze what you're into, might make one realize about themselves that they didn't think about that much before?
I have various kinks and fetishes and things that get me going or that i'm interested in, but that I didn't stop to think about all that much.
For instance, I have absolutely no scruples about fantasizing about anything fictional I want, because of that fine line between fantasy and reality that I like to think I have, but.... I'd be lying if I didn't say they didn't say a LITTLE about me on another level (if not exactly a moral question.)
I realized over time, that I think I have a slightly different interpretation of what turns me on about hypnosis than some other people do. And for each person of course, those things are all valid, to me there's no exact right or wrong reason to have a fetish, kink or turn on...
But I can't help but notice lately, especially when I think about it, what it means to ME or... says ABOUT me in some ways.
Some people love the feeling or idea of domination or control, and that's fine. But over the years, I started to realize, that's not particularly it for me. I don't think I would quite as much want to have a cute anime girl for instance, simply just as a slave or under my control.. I mean it would be nice... but, not as nice as just rendering them mindless, emotionless, vulnerable.... and the more I think about it... cute, and.... innocent. Completely innocent.
I learned a few things about myself, when I start to.. REALLY consider this. Firstly, i'm a pervert. :P I mean, i'm not exactly crazy about the term with it's socially negative connotations and all and perverts are often looked down on, so I don't easily talk about it openly with just ANY company, but... yeah, i'm pervy.
And, truth be told, my interests can be a little.. creepy. Though I never push them on anyone, and of course, I don't engage in trying to ever do anything like this in real life, but when it comes to fictional characters and my interest, I can certainly be seen AS creepy....
That's kinda one reason I picked the avatar I did. Not just Tomoko, who I relate to, but the pose Tomoko is making, the perception you get from Tomoko, in that picture. That's what I think my perception of myself is when I talk about this sorta thing. Kinda like a "ehehehehe *makes grabby hand-gestures*" kinda person. *shrug*
But then I think to myself... actually, my interest is more benign than others kinda, isn't it? I mean, I have no objection to porn. Porn is 100% A-ok with me and that's what a lot is around here, but I find myself enjoying kinks and thoughts and fantasies a few degrees more innocent than that, in a way. Maybe it's kinda weird, or not like everyone else.. like someone who finds far more interest in foreplay than the actual act of sex. (again not like anything is wrong with sex.)
But then I wonder why it is that I like 1st, 2nd, and even 3rd base more than I like a home run. And why I find it so easy to be open about that in the right social circumstance (and if that circumstance to be open about this isn't on a hypnosis porn hub, than what is, amirite?) about how creepy some of my self-admitted perversions and fantasies come across. i.e: What I find hot.. that if I ever told anyone else I knew they'd be disgusted with me for.
Why am I not so much into domination than I am simply reducing cute girls (and in some cases, cute guys, i'm pretty damn bi-curios when I feel like it), to a mindless, puppet-ish, zombie-like state of low or no intelligence or thought process?
For a long while now, it's been clearly apparent to me that just personally speaking, I have been getting turned on by pictures and drawings of things as simple as a cute girl sleepwalking, even scenes in anime where a girl is dizzy and has comical spiral eyes, or sleepy, or groggy, or even surprised with a wide-eyed expression, or extraordinarily confused, or even as simple as not-in-control of her own unintelligence, or unaware of their surroundings or themselves.
And naturally after a while, it makes me wonder.. why. WHY? I know I AM into it, but WHY am I into that? Why does it trigger a response in me that is like "ooh, that's super cute"?
I've soul-searched this concept for a while and I think that in a certain way, it's certainly because i'm a pervert and it makes certain situations really easy for me to imagine or very much be tempted to wanna see or even do.
First among all things, the thought comes to mind to wanna use mindlessness, entrancement or something of that nature as an excuse to see a cute girl (or a cute feminine guy) undressed in some way, or even naked or just some other result that wouldn't be feasible any other way.
I mean, I love any instance of panty-shots, fanservice, undressed, or those same tropes that nearly every anime has to make those things happen, but when I think about it, nothing would grant as much complete, unrestrained access to this kind of exhibitionism quite like being in a nice, cute, mindless little trance.
Nothing makes me as instantly happy as seeing some kind of anime, video game, or manga situation where a cute girl is so vapid, unaware, and vulnerable as to be in a state where she just wanders, shuffles or stumbles around in her cute little panties, without any sense or understanding of modesty or what it even means to have her clothes on, if she can even comprehend that much.
It is the perfect vehicle for this. Nothing else but being in some kind of altered state seems to be that perfect, as far as i'm concerned. I mean, isn't it hard to think of any other situation that ISN'T mind-control, sleepwalking, hypnosis, knocked-silly by way of some type of slapstick, entrancement, drugs, or body puppet control leading to a character being so unaware and out of it that she'd just just be so brazenly unaware that she's undressed around anyone else without even knowing or understanding it, herself? ehe
It leads to some other things that makes me think... One is that, for as long as I can remember, I have had a definite thing for girl's underwear, and especially seeing girls in them. Especially cute ones. But of any kind. I almost like girls in underwear more than girls naked (though that's still awesome).
But there's something that captivates and gets my attention focused so much on that, because they're not supposed to be seen ordinarily. She WOULD be so embarrassed, but the altered state she's in, takes care of that.
So yeah, that's both exceptionally cute and exceptionally hot. She doesn't understand enough to be embarrassed anymore. She's a mindless, zombie-like, exhibitionist cutie, and it's all out in the open. It's not that she's simply just eye-candy, it's that she's so adorably incapable of understanding, and so confused.
But then I wonder... is that all it is? But if it is... then why do I like THIS so much, rather than other types of still-great fanservice? To understand that, I had to think deeper about it.
It's a great excuse for it, but then I realize there are so many other subtle little things about it that I like aside from her just being in her underwear.
I like mindless zombie-logic. I love the movements. I love the different nuances, and i'm definitely in the mood for different depictions at different times.
Sometimes, eyes half-closed or fluttery eyelids while she stumbles and wobbles around drunkenly like a zombie with a huge blush on her face, her tongue sticking out, with a generous amount of drool dripping out of her mouth and making long, low gutteral moans, groans and heavy breathing....
And sometimes, Robot-like, rigid, arms out in front, one leg-at-a-time staring straight ahead and marching with monotone declarations of how she must obey her master. And.......... everything in between these two extremes. :P
But the key thing I noticed in common to all of these is the vacant, mindless, either single-minded, or no-minded zombie-ish, doll-like "nobody's home upstairs" mentality. Why DO I think that's so great?
Then I start to ponder... is it because I think there's something adorable and creepy about it at the same time? I like the creepiness as much as I like the cuteness. And then it hits me... she's innocent. She is completely innocent, mindless, pure, possesses little intelligence, understanding or will.
I have seen various works of fiction where someone ends up like this, and the work makes this big deal about how it's not right, how it's horrible, tragic, unnatural and sad. And I guess it's supposed to be depending on the work, but.. I dunno... I can't ever summon up that same feeling of being upset by it, even if it's supposed to be horrible, or creepy or "wrong".
Yeah, there's feeling of pity but part of me also envies it. Admires it. The pity, to me, is less of "ew this is terrible" and more of like "Awwwwww... so cute and innocent. Aww look at her I just wanna give her a big hug."
Well, other things too, I mean, I AM a pervert as i've said, and a pervert is naturally going to think up perverted things in this situation, and I totally wanna get any mindless girl down to her cute little panties or see her be like that... but there's also that feeling of... it's like when some people see a cute, helpless, adorable little kitten or a cute, little puppy.... It also triggers THAT kind of feeling in me, rather than feeling like it's so sick or wrong.
I dunno if that says that I'M sick or wrong for thinking that, but when I think of a mindless cute anime girl or something, I wanna pick her up and take her home, or lead her gently by the arm and take her home and make her my pet. >_>
Like.. if I lived in some anime world and this was going on (and especially if I was aware in some 4th wall breaking sense that I was just a character in a fictional world where consequence mattered VASTLY less than the real world).... I dunno, the temptation to make her mine would be too great. :P
But then, I start noticing some other things about myself when I think about this. I would both pity her and fall in love with her. While some people with the hypnosis fetish get off on being in control and dominating and making them their slave to do with as they will... I almost feel like.... I wanna be KIND to her. Ehe.
I wanna take care of her, clean her up, play with her, teach her what I want to teach her (or what she has the capacity to learn, anyhow), cuddle with her, hug her, sleep with her, shower with her, kiss her, the list goes on and on....
And that's when I really start to notice what this says about me. It's pretty hard to miss, at this point. And I start to really wonder about myself.
Maybe i'm so socially awkward, and so unsure of myself in life, and so lonely, and willingly isolated from people, but also find it so hard to be around other people, deal with other people, know how to act around other people, associate or even understand other people and their unpredictability......
Maybe it's creepy, maybe it's sad, maybe it's weird, maybe it's bizarre, people can say whatever they want, but when I think about my fantasies at their core and how this is the kind of person i'd weirdly enough fall in love with, I start to notice that I want to care for someone else that can't do anything, and depends on me.
Isn't that weird? That I realize I may have some personal insecurities just based on self-examining my fetish and what it may mean? ....I'm probably a different case than most anyone else, yes.
And I am NOT saying that anyone else that has these kinks is ANYTHING like me, because that's surely not true. Everyone has maybe their OWN entirely DIFFERENT reasons for it, and someone could be into the same thing I am but for entirely different reasons.
And morally speaking, i'm fine with all of this. I understand my shortcomings as a person and i'm ok with them, even if I come off like a creep or a pervert, I don't carry these things over to real life. I wouldn't do any of these things in real life, and I certainly wouldn't even admit this to people I personally know. I feel like, what i'm into is natural because I don't apply any of this to anyone in real life.
If I ended up in a situation like one like this, I would not do anything like what I said. I would try to get a woman who was out of it, medical help, and contact the right people and i'd do the right thing, because my fantasies are one thing, real life is another.....
But if this was some kind of made-up cartoon or anime world and it wasn't a world of real life responsibilities, rules, laws and real consequences, maybe. I understand right from wrong, but when it comes to fantasizing... it's a cute and sexy thought to indulge in, for sure, even if some people would STILL call me a creep for fantasizing, regardless. Don't care. :P
So in the end, when I think about what I like and what I have no shame in liking, I realize it may say things about some of my insecurities or the types of things I like.. like, taking care of someone and falling for a mindless zombie-girl I can take good care of, and be happy with based soley on the concept that i'm not comfortable around most other people and don't know how to deal with others, and that I find cuteness and innocence taken to an extreme to be precious, some people would probably take offense to this call me a weirdo, or a creep, or whatever else.
But hey... I can't change what kinks or fetishes i'm into based on my own personal viewpoints and experiences. And there's no point in just lying about it.
So, all in all, after all the rambling and thinking about it... It's like I have a thing for pretty girls (or pretty guys) that I can easily predict and not have to deal with, who I can take care of, and cuddle or play with, strip to their underwear, let them stay like that, give lots of hugs and affection, without any complication, just simple adoring and taking care of a lovely little pet.
Yeah, you can say a real relationship or real human interaction isn't supposed to be like that. It's never that easy.And that's why only a fantasy and best by only being one. I like to imagine and I like to pretend what it would be like, if the rules didn't apply. And that's my turn-on.
My ideal girlfriend or boyfriend is one I can adore and take care of without complication, even if they only know, understand, can do, or comprehend what little I can teach them. Maybe it's a weak self-justification, who knows... but as long as my imagination has the room for it, I feel like it's not so wrong.
The whole "moral" issue is a topic that was already discussed once on here, I mean how things, even if they're subtle, make you realize when you self-analyze what you're into, might make one realize about themselves that they didn't think about that much before?
I have various kinks and fetishes and things that get me going or that i'm interested in, but that I didn't stop to think about all that much.
For instance, I have absolutely no scruples about fantasizing about anything fictional I want, because of that fine line between fantasy and reality that I like to think I have, but.... I'd be lying if I didn't say they didn't say a LITTLE about me on another level (if not exactly a moral question.)
I realized over time, that I think I have a slightly different interpretation of what turns me on about hypnosis than some other people do. And for each person of course, those things are all valid, to me there's no exact right or wrong reason to have a fetish, kink or turn on...
But I can't help but notice lately, especially when I think about it, what it means to ME or... says ABOUT me in some ways.
Some people love the feeling or idea of domination or control, and that's fine. But over the years, I started to realize, that's not particularly it for me. I don't think I would quite as much want to have a cute anime girl for instance, simply just as a slave or under my control.. I mean it would be nice... but, not as nice as just rendering them mindless, emotionless, vulnerable.... and the more I think about it... cute, and.... innocent. Completely innocent.
I learned a few things about myself, when I start to.. REALLY consider this. Firstly, i'm a pervert. :P I mean, i'm not exactly crazy about the term with it's socially negative connotations and all and perverts are often looked down on, so I don't easily talk about it openly with just ANY company, but... yeah, i'm pervy.
And, truth be told, my interests can be a little.. creepy. Though I never push them on anyone, and of course, I don't engage in trying to ever do anything like this in real life, but when it comes to fictional characters and my interest, I can certainly be seen AS creepy....
That's kinda one reason I picked the avatar I did. Not just Tomoko, who I relate to, but the pose Tomoko is making, the perception you get from Tomoko, in that picture. That's what I think my perception of myself is when I talk about this sorta thing. Kinda like a "ehehehehe *makes grabby hand-gestures*" kinda person. *shrug*
But then I think to myself... actually, my interest is more benign than others kinda, isn't it? I mean, I have no objection to porn. Porn is 100% A-ok with me and that's what a lot is around here, but I find myself enjoying kinks and thoughts and fantasies a few degrees more innocent than that, in a way. Maybe it's kinda weird, or not like everyone else.. like someone who finds far more interest in foreplay than the actual act of sex. (again not like anything is wrong with sex.)
But then I wonder why it is that I like 1st, 2nd, and even 3rd base more than I like a home run. And why I find it so easy to be open about that in the right social circumstance (and if that circumstance to be open about this isn't on a hypnosis porn hub, than what is, amirite?) about how creepy some of my self-admitted perversions and fantasies come across. i.e: What I find hot.. that if I ever told anyone else I knew they'd be disgusted with me for.
Why am I not so much into domination than I am simply reducing cute girls (and in some cases, cute guys, i'm pretty damn bi-curios when I feel like it), to a mindless, puppet-ish, zombie-like state of low or no intelligence or thought process?
For a long while now, it's been clearly apparent to me that just personally speaking, I have been getting turned on by pictures and drawings of things as simple as a cute girl sleepwalking, even scenes in anime where a girl is dizzy and has comical spiral eyes, or sleepy, or groggy, or even surprised with a wide-eyed expression, or extraordinarily confused, or even as simple as not-in-control of her own unintelligence, or unaware of their surroundings or themselves.
And naturally after a while, it makes me wonder.. why. WHY? I know I AM into it, but WHY am I into that? Why does it trigger a response in me that is like "ooh, that's super cute"?
I've soul-searched this concept for a while and I think that in a certain way, it's certainly because i'm a pervert and it makes certain situations really easy for me to imagine or very much be tempted to wanna see or even do.
First among all things, the thought comes to mind to wanna use mindlessness, entrancement or something of that nature as an excuse to see a cute girl (or a cute feminine guy) undressed in some way, or even naked or just some other result that wouldn't be feasible any other way.
I mean, I love any instance of panty-shots, fanservice, undressed, or those same tropes that nearly every anime has to make those things happen, but when I think about it, nothing would grant as much complete, unrestrained access to this kind of exhibitionism quite like being in a nice, cute, mindless little trance.
Nothing makes me as instantly happy as seeing some kind of anime, video game, or manga situation where a cute girl is so vapid, unaware, and vulnerable as to be in a state where she just wanders, shuffles or stumbles around in her cute little panties, without any sense or understanding of modesty or what it even means to have her clothes on, if she can even comprehend that much.
It is the perfect vehicle for this. Nothing else but being in some kind of altered state seems to be that perfect, as far as i'm concerned. I mean, isn't it hard to think of any other situation that ISN'T mind-control, sleepwalking, hypnosis, knocked-silly by way of some type of slapstick, entrancement, drugs, or body puppet control leading to a character being so unaware and out of it that she'd just just be so brazenly unaware that she's undressed around anyone else without even knowing or understanding it, herself? ehe
It leads to some other things that makes me think... One is that, for as long as I can remember, I have had a definite thing for girl's underwear, and especially seeing girls in them. Especially cute ones. But of any kind. I almost like girls in underwear more than girls naked (though that's still awesome).
But there's something that captivates and gets my attention focused so much on that, because they're not supposed to be seen ordinarily. She WOULD be so embarrassed, but the altered state she's in, takes care of that.
So yeah, that's both exceptionally cute and exceptionally hot. She doesn't understand enough to be embarrassed anymore. She's a mindless, zombie-like, exhibitionist cutie, and it's all out in the open. It's not that she's simply just eye-candy, it's that she's so adorably incapable of understanding, and so confused.
But then I wonder... is that all it is? But if it is... then why do I like THIS so much, rather than other types of still-great fanservice? To understand that, I had to think deeper about it.
It's a great excuse for it, but then I realize there are so many other subtle little things about it that I like aside from her just being in her underwear.
I like mindless zombie-logic. I love the movements. I love the different nuances, and i'm definitely in the mood for different depictions at different times.
Sometimes, eyes half-closed or fluttery eyelids while she stumbles and wobbles around drunkenly like a zombie with a huge blush on her face, her tongue sticking out, with a generous amount of drool dripping out of her mouth and making long, low gutteral moans, groans and heavy breathing....
And sometimes, Robot-like, rigid, arms out in front, one leg-at-a-time staring straight ahead and marching with monotone declarations of how she must obey her master. And.......... everything in between these two extremes. :P
But the key thing I noticed in common to all of these is the vacant, mindless, either single-minded, or no-minded zombie-ish, doll-like "nobody's home upstairs" mentality. Why DO I think that's so great?
Then I start to ponder... is it because I think there's something adorable and creepy about it at the same time? I like the creepiness as much as I like the cuteness. And then it hits me... she's innocent. She is completely innocent, mindless, pure, possesses little intelligence, understanding or will.
I have seen various works of fiction where someone ends up like this, and the work makes this big deal about how it's not right, how it's horrible, tragic, unnatural and sad. And I guess it's supposed to be depending on the work, but.. I dunno... I can't ever summon up that same feeling of being upset by it, even if it's supposed to be horrible, or creepy or "wrong".
Yeah, there's feeling of pity but part of me also envies it. Admires it. The pity, to me, is less of "ew this is terrible" and more of like "Awwwwww... so cute and innocent. Aww look at her I just wanna give her a big hug."
Well, other things too, I mean, I AM a pervert as i've said, and a pervert is naturally going to think up perverted things in this situation, and I totally wanna get any mindless girl down to her cute little panties or see her be like that... but there's also that feeling of... it's like when some people see a cute, helpless, adorable little kitten or a cute, little puppy.... It also triggers THAT kind of feeling in me, rather than feeling like it's so sick or wrong.
I dunno if that says that I'M sick or wrong for thinking that, but when I think of a mindless cute anime girl or something, I wanna pick her up and take her home, or lead her gently by the arm and take her home and make her my pet. >_>
Like.. if I lived in some anime world and this was going on (and especially if I was aware in some 4th wall breaking sense that I was just a character in a fictional world where consequence mattered VASTLY less than the real world).... I dunno, the temptation to make her mine would be too great. :P
But then, I start noticing some other things about myself when I think about this. I would both pity her and fall in love with her. While some people with the hypnosis fetish get off on being in control and dominating and making them their slave to do with as they will... I almost feel like.... I wanna be KIND to her. Ehe.
I wanna take care of her, clean her up, play with her, teach her what I want to teach her (or what she has the capacity to learn, anyhow), cuddle with her, hug her, sleep with her, shower with her, kiss her, the list goes on and on....
And that's when I really start to notice what this says about me. It's pretty hard to miss, at this point. And I start to really wonder about myself.
Maybe i'm so socially awkward, and so unsure of myself in life, and so lonely, and willingly isolated from people, but also find it so hard to be around other people, deal with other people, know how to act around other people, associate or even understand other people and their unpredictability......
Maybe it's creepy, maybe it's sad, maybe it's weird, maybe it's bizarre, people can say whatever they want, but when I think about my fantasies at their core and how this is the kind of person i'd weirdly enough fall in love with, I start to notice that I want to care for someone else that can't do anything, and depends on me.
Isn't that weird? That I realize I may have some personal insecurities just based on self-examining my fetish and what it may mean? ....I'm probably a different case than most anyone else, yes.
And I am NOT saying that anyone else that has these kinks is ANYTHING like me, because that's surely not true. Everyone has maybe their OWN entirely DIFFERENT reasons for it, and someone could be into the same thing I am but for entirely different reasons.
And morally speaking, i'm fine with all of this. I understand my shortcomings as a person and i'm ok with them, even if I come off like a creep or a pervert, I don't carry these things over to real life. I wouldn't do any of these things in real life, and I certainly wouldn't even admit this to people I personally know. I feel like, what i'm into is natural because I don't apply any of this to anyone in real life.
If I ended up in a situation like one like this, I would not do anything like what I said. I would try to get a woman who was out of it, medical help, and contact the right people and i'd do the right thing, because my fantasies are one thing, real life is another.....
But if this was some kind of made-up cartoon or anime world and it wasn't a world of real life responsibilities, rules, laws and real consequences, maybe. I understand right from wrong, but when it comes to fantasizing... it's a cute and sexy thought to indulge in, for sure, even if some people would STILL call me a creep for fantasizing, regardless. Don't care. :P
So in the end, when I think about what I like and what I have no shame in liking, I realize it may say things about some of my insecurities or the types of things I like.. like, taking care of someone and falling for a mindless zombie-girl I can take good care of, and be happy with based soley on the concept that i'm not comfortable around most other people and don't know how to deal with others, and that I find cuteness and innocence taken to an extreme to be precious, some people would probably take offense to this call me a weirdo, or a creep, or whatever else.
But hey... I can't change what kinks or fetishes i'm into based on my own personal viewpoints and experiences. And there's no point in just lying about it.
So, all in all, after all the rambling and thinking about it... It's like I have a thing for pretty girls (or pretty guys) that I can easily predict and not have to deal with, who I can take care of, and cuddle or play with, strip to their underwear, let them stay like that, give lots of hugs and affection, without any complication, just simple adoring and taking care of a lovely little pet.
Yeah, you can say a real relationship or real human interaction isn't supposed to be like that. It's never that easy.And that's why only a fantasy and best by only being one. I like to imagine and I like to pretend what it would be like, if the rules didn't apply. And that's my turn-on.
My ideal girlfriend or boyfriend is one I can adore and take care of without complication, even if they only know, understand, can do, or comprehend what little I can teach them. Maybe it's a weak self-justification, who knows... but as long as my imagination has the room for it, I feel like it's not so wrong.
