I didn't get the impression she wrote the story, moreso that it was some reading assignment

Always fun to have to leave the room when someone decides they want to watch the movie that sparked my kink to begin with.

It kinda hasn't? But I hadn't had much of a love life, or a life to begin with.

(...that and I'd like to learn hypnosis, for real, but the whole topic gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can handle it when it's fictional, but IRL is somehow a bridge too far...)

This little tidbit about me could easily go in the Vent Room thread but since it was so long ago I figured it should be here.

Back when I was in Highschool someone had found out about my hypnosis fetish. I had told some other close friends and I guess they told him for some reason. He was someone who I considered a friend so I really didn't expect to be blindsided by what he did next.
Basically, he coerced me into saying that I like rape. I remember him asking the question, "So, that's essentially "rape", right?" and he had a really forceful tone about it too.

I now regard myself as a psymicon so I know I wouldn't let this happen at this point in time but back then I was much less sure about myself and it didn't help that I was struggling with my mental illness at the time.
I didn't like rape. I didn't even like sex (still don't) and I didn't know what his problem was. I remember him saying " I just want to hear him say it," to another boy who was sitting next to him. He was wrong about me at least and I wish I had told him so.

I ashamed to this day to say that I didn't. I don't remember much about the final moments of the ordeal but I know in the end I gave in and told him what he wanted to hear. He's not my friend anymore obviously and suspect he's more than okay with that.

I guess that's why I keep trying to break away from this community and start my own thing. Everyone here is so different it's hard to know where each individual stands. I don't like the idea of my sexual identity being overshadowed by someone who likes things considerably different from me. I know for a fact that there are users on this site who do like rape, even if it's only a fantasy. I just want to be seen for who really am.

Thanks for reading.

Lilly, I know my words probably mean nothing to you, but I will say this: if you want to be seen for who you are, you need to accept who you are and every aspect of that, no matter how big or small. And you know what? I may not know you very well, but I'm willing to bet that plenty of people you've talked to here would say that you're a kind person! One thing doesn't make the person, and I'm sure everyone here (precisely for the reason that BROUGHT them here) has taken that to heart. At this point, it's all a matter of whether or not you can internalize that. And personally? I have faith in your ability to do so.

I hope that helps.

Thanks man. We're all people here and I see all feedback as important feedback so please don't think your words mean nothing to me. I feel like your talking about a little high-concept stuff that's a little hard to actualize. Still, I'll do my best meet your expectations.

I think it does help a little.

It's BDSM, which is a semi-common fetish. Opting in to the roleplay is consensual but they're roleplaying non-consensual scenes. Fiction just goes straight to the fantasy because it's fiction. How I reason getting off to some "hardcore" stuff, yet get absolutely disgusted and horrified when I hear a news story of actual torture rape. Would you know most people actually can differentiate between fiction and reality?

Though I didn't know what a psymicon was until just now. And reading up on it, I'm clearly not one. It's just that knowing the reality of hypnosis/mind control I just don't see how it plays out different from S&M.

Being on this site, I've come to realize that hypnotism can be interpreted in a number ways. BDSM is only one of them. I know that a lot of people here, perhaps even most, prefer to see hypnosis that way but I'm definitely not one of them. I feel that the true reality of hypnosis is that it is the embodiment of the wonder of humanity. The infinite possibilities of the human mind rest in a single trance. As the hypnotist or the subject those possibilities become of you.

I know that I'm the odd one out on this site. I think hypnosis in and of itself is "sexy" even though I don't like sex. When I post on this site, I do it in hopes of finding other people like me perhaps those that can even understand me. I'm rambling now... Thanks for your reply, :)

Thank you for sharing all that with us, but also thank you for introducing me to the term psymicon! That's exactly what I am, it's a little easier than telling everyone I'm an asexual hypnofetishist (same thing, more or less) so I'll have to remember that.

Oh my, considering how I roll my eyes at normal porn and other things, I might have found what I am as well. So weird, learning new things every day haha. Granted, I like my hypnosis in my own style of course but that explains why if my brain can break it down into hypnosis, I find it hot lol. I'l have to keep that in mind as well.

I avoided that movie altogether.

I guess it doesn't just because I've never really had overlapping interests with anyone I know in real life along most axes anyway. I've never had friends/family/peers/coworkers who like anime, cartoons, etc. so I tend to just learn enough about what they like to carry on conversations that way. Not mentioning that sorta' stuff is just kinda' second nature.

Not letting being into hypno-stuff affect my personal life isn't really any different except that I guess I'm much more diligent in not letting it slip out.

I make sure my phone is clean but my laptop, oh boy. I need to do some locking and transferring of stuff before I bring it anywhere outside of my room. Its not painfully obvious but its there. The funniest part is that even with nothing bad on it I have intense paranoia and refuse to let people be alone with my phone or laptop.

Side note: Some comment above talk about telling the wife. The only way my nonexistent wife finds out would be if I met her through this site.

I actually have all my animation stuff on my laptop, but it's buried between hundreds of unassuming folders. I just frequently have to clean my last opened files (or folders) and I'm good.

One thing that was kinda crazy last year was when redo of healer was the controversial anime of the year, and some of my male anime interested friends chose to play that scene where flare is mind controlled to be a dog and get her sister to cum with the side condition that her sister would also be mind controlled if she cums. First off, why was this shown on tv??? Second, why is this not classified as hentai??? Third why'd you do this to me, it was borderline impossible to sit still.
Similar thing happened when I was watching anime with friends during the time when everything was isekai and they chose "how to not summon a demon lord". A dark haired catgirl getting a mind control collar around her neck in the first episode, great x: and that was just the start. I was sooooo hoping nobody would look at me...

It's hit pretty hard ngl. My GF doesn't like the idea of not being in control but I found it fun and got my blood rushing just thinking of the possibilities.

I've used her OC in a few Google Docs of her being Brain Controlled but as long as I don't share them she doesn't care what happens in them.