OH god, hypno stories based around chat logs, I cant understand why I crave these so much, it's too much for me I love it. Though in terms of criticism I would have the hypnotist play with the subject a little more rather than just buy games and be done with it, just to confirm their new dominant status. Or even put up some post triggers, like when you beat a boss in Binding of Issac you will "x." You have videogames as a subject (sort of) so might as well use them~
And I never liked the word affirmative unless you're in the military but that's just my personal niche taste.
Makes me want to write more short stories based around the concept of hypnotized via IM and email rather than draw skypenotized.
Thanks for the criticism. :D I really liked writing it; chat logs really feel like a completely different write to conventional stories. I felt more like the characters were writing themselves once I got started. :3
I was thinking of continuing with these two since I like them, so I went a bit light for this one (also it was 5 AM and I decided to go to sleep). I felt like hearts was still a bit skeptical of Vodka's actual state since it was accidental, so they didn't take full advantage of it this time around. I tried to imply that with hearts going off to look up what to do.
I had a hard time thinking of words that meant Yes that weren't, um...yes. Spent about 5 minutes thinking on that one before I gave up. I didn't like it myself, since it felt a bit out of place with hearts's fairly lax chat and Vodka's otherwise formal but friendly chat.
I really like Skypenotized, in particular how the hypnotist messes with Crystal, especially the slip-up with the text. My // was based on the brackets your hypnotist has, but since you already did brackets, I just stole end-of-line comments from C. :3
//Compiler-senpai never notices me :C
Yay! People liked my story!
It makes me wish I had a Kirlia. :3 I could use some stress relief.