Posted on 2014-01-09 03:57:10
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So, I kinda cheated on this one. I found the image for this one by chance about a year ago, and thought it was gold. The image I credit as a source was the closest thing I could find to this after about an hour of searching. To be perfectly honest, I've got no clue how I managed to find this beauty in the first place.

Posted on 2014-01-09 04:53:23
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I love her look, and I'd love to have more of such a pretty knight :3

Posted on 2014-01-09 09:34:06
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well done. I applaud

Posted on 2014-01-09 09:44:38
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The source link is broken. This is the game it's from:
vndb.org/v106

Posted on 2014-01-09 11:49:21
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And, with that information, I tracked down a g.e-hentai gallery link.
Re-sourced. :)

Posted on 2014-01-10 01:14:42
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Thanks.
So how'd I do this time? Better than my first post? The text could've been shifted a bit down, but I'm getting back into the groove of this, so I didn't consider it then.

Posted on 2014-01-10 03:13:36
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You did good, but because I feel a little critique can help people improve more than a novel filled with praise, I'll give some.

I'd say readability could have been upped by making the font bigger (you probably had the space there already), or changing it to something a bit more simple (personally I think it's fine, but some folks seem to shy away from the more stylized ones), or increasing the distance between rows by a pixel. Background's okay, but I'm hardly an expert on the subject of presentation, so that's just my two cents.

And as for the image itself, a lil' manipping wouldn't have gone amiss here, with the image being more 'on the spot' in nature than the last one. If you're not comfortable with your photoshopping skills, we have a manip request thread over at the forums where you can ask if someone's willing to do a little shopping for you.

Posted on 2014-01-10 11:22:17
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Finn pretty much summed up my thoughts. You did quite well with the text this time. Certainly much better than the last. I think the font color is perfect for the background, and the font style is great. That said, I also believe the text could have been a little larger for readability purposes (and to fill in some of that extra empty space).

As a piece of advice, when you have empty space left over and you don't think you should up your font size any further, try to vertically center the text. I believe that's what you meant when you said that you could have had the text "shifted a bit down", right?

As for actually manipping the images themselves (as Finn suggested), it would be a good idea, even if you don't do it yourself. We do allow purely text MC manips, but we're rather strict about them. Because there's no obvious signs of MC in the image itself, we must rely on the text. If the story you wrote happens to feel very much disconnected from the image at hand, then it may be deleted for not being MC. Your best bet would be to learn to manip the images, partner up with a image manipper, or pay very close attention to detail to ensure that story and image match perfectly all the time. Or, ideally, any combination of the three. :P Just letting you know.