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- Id: 12590
-
Posted: 2014-02-24 04:53:39
by TakyonH - Size: 1024x960
- Source: hypnofur.deviantart.com/a...torybook-Ending-371547745
- Rating: Safe
- Score: 13 (vote up)
>> #11093
Score: 0 (vote Up)
REVIEW OF STORY:
Is good mayne read that
>> #11094
Score: 0 (vote Up)
>> #11100
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Incredible Intruder's story ideas are okay (in some cases, very good. Don't want to sound like i'm damning with faint praise), but by god i cannot get over that grammar.
It's an odd pacing that I would not write in but the grammar itself looks sound.
Aside from some commas that don't need to be where they are and some questionable periods I don't mind it.