AzureDemon said: It's kind of abrupt if you ask me. Resisting, new thoughts, changed mind. Three clear steps with no transition whatsoever.
That's a big part of it, I believe. Alas, that was the result of cutting down the story to fit it on the image. It may just not be possible to have the story as I planned it in a concise form and have it turn out nicely.
Like I said, I'll probably rewrite it someday. But for now, I'm more worried about actually breaking out of the caption writer's block I've now had for over a year (which totally didn't help this image's caption, as is obvious - this was one of my few attempts to get back into it). It's getting a little ridiculous, how long it's been going on.
>> #11289
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I'm not 100% satisfied with the text. I almost feel it lacks substance. Hopefully some will disagree, however.
Textless version in child posts.
>> #11296
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>> #11299
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It does seem to be wanting for something, but I can't put my finger on what. Hrm.
Yeah, that's my reaction. I can't figure what it's missing. Maybe character? It does seem a little devoid of feeling, due to it being past tense.
I may rewrite this someday if I can find a way to bring out the feeling I was going for.
>> #11304
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>> #11318
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It's kind of abrupt if you ask me. Resisting, new thoughts, changed mind. Three clear steps with no transition whatsoever.
That's a big part of it, I believe. Alas, that was the result of cutting down the story to fit it on the image. It may just not be possible to have the story as I planned it in a concise form and have it turn out nicely.
Like I said, I'll probably rewrite it someday. But for now, I'm more worried about actually breaking out of the caption writer's block I've now had for over a year (which totally didn't help this image's caption, as is obvious - this was one of my few attempts to get back into it). It's getting a little ridiculous, how long it's been going on.
>> #11343
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anidb.net/ch5049
short pink hair +yellow headband->Akari from To Heart
Best Regards,
Master of Laughter, LolLord
>> #11360
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I know this and tagged it, this time better.
anidb.net/ch5049
short pink hair +yellow headband->Akari from To Heart
Best Regards,
Master of Laughter, LolLord
Huzah! Well done on classifying the tags correctly.
You'd be surprised how many people have trouble getting that simple feature. o.O
>> #11369
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