Posted on 2015-10-30 06:00:45
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My first Manip, let me know what you think. Also, how do I tag myself as the maniper?

Posted on 2015-10-30 06:35:37
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The first time an artist tag is used, prepend it with artist:
e.g. artist:sparkvolley_(manipper)
After that, it doesn't need to be used, the tag will always be yellow.

I really love the concept! The bigggest feedback I would provide:
* Try to cut down on unnecessary empty space. After the text is set up don't be afraid to resize the text boxes, rearrange the text positioning, and crop out some of the side bars.
* The font is a little hard to read; the thinnest parts of some letters look like they're being eaten a little. If the text could be rendered any bolder that might work, or a different font entirely might help. This is especially important if color is involved. Non-white might have benefitted from a border outline to pop, especially the darker colors.

Posted on 2015-10-30 06:43:03
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Thanks Greasyi. I'll be sure to bold the font and make it pop better next time, I might even fix this one tomorrow too. I'll be sure to try and cut out extra space too. This was all sort of a learning process, I'll probably do it better next time once I get used to the editing tools I'm working with.

Posted on 2015-10-30 11:45:49
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You did good for a first shot. But nobodies perfect on their first try. Do more :)
Now my critique follows, there are some things I try and clarify or define because I assume its your first time doing this. So if it feels like I'm explaining something obvious, that is why :\ I also am kind of obsessed when it comes to questions about type. If it isn't feeding you though, don't worry to much about it.

I'm having a lot of trouble reading that navy blue text on a black background. Some colors, you have to be really careful with their luminosity (how much white and black the color has, regardless of 'where' it is or how saturated it is). Blue figures on black 'grounds, purples on blacks, and yellow on white are all colors you have to treat very carefully. Some things to try might be outlining or back lighting the letters.

The font you used looks fine, generally people will only talk on that if its a script font or if they have a hard on for a particular way of doing things. But there are three issues I spot with your text composition. First, your text could be a quarter or a half a point bigger. Second, your lines of type end inconsistently. The ends are overly ragged. You want them to be consistent (and I'm lack a better way to say it), but don't worry about them being perfect. Third, font sizes between the left panel and the right are different. This is probably why you have this big block of empty space at the end of one panel. Making it match sizes will probably mean that you have to re-set a few lines, but consistency is what you want. Also, if you have empty space left, that is space you can think about filling. Of these things, you can get away with point one and two, point three and the color of your text are problems you need to address.

A final thing. I spotted a few of the English errors I tend to make, where you type buy instead of by (their, there, and they're are my three least favorite words in the English language :| ) and a few punctuation errors. A spellchecker won't catch those mistakes, they catch syntax errors (basically if the form is right) rather than semantic errors (if what it means is correct), but it will help with the grammar errors. So you might want to copy and paste this into word and see what it catches. If you can wrangle a proof reader with similar interests, that can help.

Your image selection and the resolution you displayed it at was perfect for what you wanted.

Posted on 2015-10-30 11:47:36
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What greasyi said, and welcome!

Posted on 2015-10-30 14:20:43
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Thank you Mr Face and Oel. This has been a very warm welcome and I will be sure to do more of these things, they are awesome and I love the other ones people have done.

I've taken all advice to heart and tried to improve it in a second version, which is here: hypnohub.net/post/show/30...tion_only-closed_eyes-exh

Thanks again everyone.