someshlub said:
As usual, you manage to hit almost all of my fetishes in one amazing caption.

Edit: And I visited the blog. You are amazing.

Anon123456 said:
very good writing >;3 loved the dialogue and progression

although the "plot" is a bit too thick for my liking :P personally, i think exposition should always be really light, as people are gonna forget it anyways, and more of a "implied within the context of the wording/conversation" :P plus, people can do all sorts of things with their imaginations with a little bit of implication >;3

tl;dr: you don't need "plot" to move the story along, as long as it feels natural/logical progression, and as long as you 100% run with it/build upon it :P since you're the creator, you're the one that decides what situations occur naturally in this universe ^.^ you don't need reasoning or fiber-to-fiber explanation to the viewers(it's just sorta disruptive, and takes away the flow/heat of the actual meat: the interesting interaction between the two, themselves and the environments :P), the viewers allready understand "location, cause, implied events, effect" :P

Anon123456 said:
oh, nonono hun, that's not what i meant :P i meant "frontloading exposition" :P

aka, show, don't tell. let me give an example.

example 1:

day 1 "i builled Sarah again, lol, she's such a dork, i put a frog down her blouse"

day 2 "i pulled down sarahs pants right in the corridor for everyone to see! oh man, how she cried!"

day 3 "i tripped sarah in a mudpuddle, she was so distrot over being dirty for the rest of the day!"

day 4 "it's finally time for me to get revenge over all those mean things you did to me, Jerry!" *hypnotize revenges jerry into a fuckboi*

Example 2

day 1: "it's finally time for me to get revenge Jerry, because you put a frog down my blouse, tripped me in a mud puddle, made me cry and pulled down my pants!" *hypnotize revenges jerry into a fuckboi*

Example 3:

day 1: "it's finally time for me to get revenge Jerry!" jerry had the previous days put a frog down sarahs blouse, pulled down her pants and made her cry, and pushed her into a mud puddle, making her dirty for the rest of the day *hypnotize revenges jerry into a fuckboi*


-----------------------------------


as you can see, example 1 is way more immersive, as it never breaks the flow :P it's constantly in the same mindset, and takes its time to show every interesting detail, rather than giving a TL;DR at the end/beginning of relevant event :P it just feels like watching a sequal without watching the first movie, just feels a bit hollow, if you know what i mean :3


anyways, other than that, awesome picture :3 you improve more and more each picture you do ^.^

Sorez said:
Amazing @3@

Succubunny said:
"Hun?" :p

However, yeah that's a more fair criticism than what I thought you were originally trying to say. I do try to show rather than tell but it can be difficult in shorter pieces such as this, and when I'm trying to focus on the time when the action is the most... interesting. ;3

So yeah, that is something I'm still working on and this piece definitely was not my best as far as how I integrated the exposition. ^-^;

Thank you for the constructive criticism and the compliments, glad you're liking so far. :)

Anon123456 said:
well, that's one of the reasons i love hypnohub.net/post/show/59...ipper-ass-bimbofication-b so much :P

huge-ass wall of nicely crafted text, and picture just being a footnote visualization of an interesting part somewhere in the text, like it would in a book :P