Posted on 2017-02-26 12:41:22
Score: 1 (vote Up)

Welp, that's it. I just clicked my way through my "kinky" pics collection and then I was hit by idea. Here it is.

Posted on 2017-02-26 21:19:32
Score: 0 (vote Up)

Hey! Looks like this is your first submission, right? Well, let me say, I like it! You've got a good choice of source picture, for one, which helps a lot, but I have to say the story itself is hot to me. I've always been a sucker for orientation play, and it's done well!

As for the writing, there are just a couple typos I noticed, like "psycho" being "pshycho", etc. There are also a couple sentences whose grammar is perhaps just a bit stilted. I'd also be careful about the shift from 'narrator' to 'internal thoughts' because they're the same color in this caption, and it can be a bit difficult to tell when they transition. However, none of that kept me from totally understanding what was going on and enjoying it too, so I wouldn't worry about that too much and just keep it in mind for new ones.

Which brings me to the final point: I do want to see more from you! I hope I see more content like this in the future, if you're willing. It's good stuff, and you can only improve on your writing over time! That's exactly what I did for my own writings. :3

Posted on 2017-02-26 21:23:52
Score: 0 (vote Up)

Welp, it's actually 4th my manip, if I got your words correctly. Thanks for comment though.

Posted on 2017-02-28 01:11:33
Score: 0 (vote Up)

heh heh can confirm steve has a very hypnotic tail. and does like to dress up from time to time.. (is named steve)