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9 comments (0 hidden)

Grima180
>> #188460
Posted on 2017-07-19 04:18:06
Score: 0 (vote Up)
I'm not fully happy with this one. Some of the wording is awkward, and I struggled concluding it.
BurningPenguin6
>> #188464
Posted on 2017-07-19 04:41:53
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Grima180 said:
I'm not fully happy with this one. Some of the wording is awkward, and I struggled concluding it.


Really? I thought this was pretty damn good.
Ogodei-Khan
>> #188475
Posted on 2017-07-19 06:09:44
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Deliberately keep the protag gender-neutral? I like it.
Grima180
>> #188493
Posted on 2017-07-19 07:40:50
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Ogodei-Khan said:
Deliberately keep the protag gender-neutral? I like it.


That's something that I try to do whenever I can. It's surprisingly easy to do.
Rua
>> #188522
Posted on 2017-07-19 11:59:52
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Ogodei-Khan said:
Deliberately keep the protag gender-neutral? I like it.


As a lesbian tired of malesub, noice.
Nonbinary people exist and I'm sure they appreciate the lack of gendered pronouns
disgustinggirl
>> #188538
Posted on 2017-07-19 15:21:11
Score: 0 (vote Up)
Rua said:
As a lesbian tired of malesub, noice.
Nonbinary people exist and I'm sure they appreciate the lack of gendered pronouns


This.
mixibnorh
>> #188624
Posted on 2017-07-20 02:00:15
Score: 0 (vote Up)
I wish I could write naration this good.
Even in my native language, I can't write like that.
HarpyKey
>> #188868
Posted on 2017-07-21 14:18:26
Score: 0 (vote Up)
It's really good, but there's one thing that's bugging me... In the image, she's in all white, but in the text, it says black.
Grima180
>> #189010
Posted on 2017-07-22 10:19:43
Score: 0 (vote Up)
HarpyKey said:
It's really good, but there's one thing that's bugging me... In the image, she's in all white, but in the text, it says black.


Black Clothes, White underclothes. One of the main reasons I'm not happy with this one, I couldn't find a way to make that flow
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