A suggestion: Ann's thoughts in panel five seem to come from nowhere (unless maybe she already had a couple of interesting preconceptions about hypnosis, but I am not seeing that here). Those thoughts would be very hot if they were Ann parroting and internalizing suggestions Makoto made in an earlier frame.
Hey, it's my commission. Thanks to Katsiika for making this.
I appreciate the suggestion, Penlight. This is possibly the first time I've ever actually written something hypnosis-related, so I still have a lot to learn. I agree that "parroting" is some good shit and I'll keep it in mind for the future.
The good news is that there is more of this, which I'll get around to uploading myself sometime soon.
>> #377451
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>> #377677
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A suggestion: Ann's thoughts in panel five seem to come from nowhere (unless maybe she already had a couple of interesting preconceptions about hypnosis, but I am not seeing that here). Those thoughts would be very hot if they were Ann parroting and internalizing suggestions Makoto made in an earlier frame.
>> #383092
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I appreciate the suggestion, Penlight. This is possibly the first time I've ever actually written something hypnosis-related, so I still have a lot to learn. I agree that "parroting" is some good shit and I'll keep it in mind for the future.
The good news is that there is more of this, which I'll get around to uploading myself sometime soon.