PomPom covered the basics, so I'll go deeper by looking at some of your posts, starting with the most recent.
Minerva was just about to put on her bra when she heard a noise. The noise was a song and it seemed to be coming from the house next door. Minerva decided to investigate but didn't put on her top for some reason. The closer she got to the source, the louder the song became. The song was so beautiful, so relaxing, so... Entrancing. The song chipped away at her will until her only desire was to serve her master.
The first few sentences alone are enough to show me that the level of writing is not good. First of all, it doesn't sound like you're telling a narrative. The story reads more like a description of events, which is a very dull and non-engrossing method. "Minerva was about to do X when she heard a noise. The noise was ___. Minerva then did Y." The last 2 sentences, while not very original, are at least much more interesting to read, as they are descriptive and draw the reader into the story rather than just talking at them. Remember the old rule of creative writing: "show, don't tell". We want to feel like we're there. And don't be afraid to NOT outright state things. We can interpret context clues. If you assume your readers need everything spelled out for them, your writing will suffer.
Hey babe I want to show you something.
Jane: What?
This.
Jane: A crystal doesn't seem like much.
Well maybe it because you weren't looking deep enough. Try concentrating on the crystal as I spin it.
Jane: ok
Look at the crystal notice its beauty.
Jane: So...pretty.
The crystal is so beautiful... So relaxing.
Jane: So relaxing.
It makes you so sleepy.
Jane: So sleepy.
On the count of 3 you will fall into a state of obedience do you under.
Jane: Yes.
1 2...3!!!!!!
Jane can you hear me?
Jane: Yes master.
Good, now lets head to the bedroom to "celebrate" your enslavement
I'm going to ignore the spelling errors as this critique is more about your style of writing and not basic grammar. This story suffers from the same problem that the bulk of your stories do, and that's that it's totally uninspired and generic. "Look at this and be hypnotized. 'I'm hypnotized.' Now we fuck." I know it may seem like an oversimplification, but it's really not. The problem is, we've read this story millions of times in millions of places. It's become so commonplace that it's now considered a joke. Most parodies of hypnosis manips use this same structure.
Now, there's nothing wrong with writing a hypnosis story where sex is the end goal, but you HAVE to put more into getting there. It's boring to just read "Look at this. You're getting sleepy. Fuck me." Remember, we want to BE there.
Good Morning! I know that you are all confused but look deep into the coin and all will be revealed. You are to be sold as slaves to very wealthy people. You will do everything your master tells you to do. Until then, my master is your master. Failure to obey will result in another "orientation." Any objections? Good none now lets not keep master waiting any longer
Ellie: Must resist must... Yes mistress I obey
Delphi: Good now help your sister undress and make out with her
So slave what are you
Kat: I am robo kitty I serve you master
Good now get in bed with me
These are just more examples of the exact same problem. More generic stories that add nothing to the pics they were posted on. The first one at least tries to be more creative, but then it falls into the same trap of just being another "Look at this. Now be hypnotized." affair.
Emma: Just watch the screen give into master
Mabel: No I will stay strong I will I will... Pretty colors
Emma: You cannot resist the screen cannot resist masters wishes
Mabel: Cannot resist master's wishes
Emma: You will be a good obedient maid
Mabel: I am obedient I will obey master
Alexia: Chelsie why are your clothes of
Chelsie: Your fiance likes it
Alexia: You are freaking me out
Chelsie: Look at the the watch
Alexia: So.... Pretty
Chelsie: You will be obedient to husband you will be ok if he seduces other women
Alexia: Obedient... Husband
Chelsie: Now master wants you to take your top off he is ready
Here's another big problem I have with your work. EVERY pic is maledom, no matter what the imagery implies. Now, I understand if maledom is your thing and there's nothing wrong with subverting the readers' expectations, but it's important to know what audience you're reaching. Neither of the images these quotes came from showed even a hint of maledom. In fact, they were pretty clear in their portrayal of women in the dominant role. It makes sense, then, that the people who enjoyed those pics enjoyed the femdom aspect of them. Why then, would they want to read a story that twists it into maledom? Especially when maledom/femsub is so prevalent in this fetish, taking a pic that actually breaks that mold and forcing it back into it will be seen by many as annoying and sometimes childish. Not to mention, it's not an interesting twist if it's ALL you write.
Idroducing the hypnotron. Just plop a person in front of it and they will be instantly transfixed. Take for instance this beautiful lass who doubted the machine's abilities. Now she will be included with the machine as a limited time bundle.
Now, this one, I actually have to give some props to. Aside from the one misspelling, this is actually a rather decent story comment. It doesn't do anything fancy, but it's cute and entertaining to read. As I read it, I can tell you had fun writing it, and that's really the key. Sometimes we get too caught up in writing something "hardcore" or "hawt" that we end up writing something that sounds immature and silly. Sometimes you just need to have fun with it. Let inspiration take you and don't try to force something out that sounds awkward.